You Rock My World

tuesday. friends with benefits.

2011-11-08T06:32:00.001-08:00

Hi,

Had a long weekend which is extremely awesome and i just feel like im dreaming when i woke up this morning. Hehe. But yes have to work for a living. I know..

Anyways, i bought a book titled FRIENDS.WITH BENEFITS. I found the book was awesome, nice story, though i know i was a little bit late. Hehe. Atleast. And this is like my first book that i bought on my own. Usually i just borrow it fromy friends and i didnt finish reading it. I dont know why. Hehe. So this time i feel like buying another book.

The story abt the book was about three nannies who worked with the millionaire who lives in one of the biggest city in the world, Los Angeles that is.

Can you imagine how hard it is to work with a millionaire? About the friends with benefits thingy, its actually the three nannies were falling in love with three different guys(one for each i mean) hehe. From i read the benefits are for example, rich, sex and famous. But its beyond my thought. They were really in love. Not the benefits i guess i judge before finishing it eh? Hehe.

All and all was good!

Okay then, good night.

Exactly 50days fm now. Hehe.

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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friday, 4th november

2011-11-04T10:03:00.001-07:00

Hi.

I was very sick this morning. Gastric attacked. Its been a week. On and off. I couldnt stand anymore so i went to the clinic and asked for a stronger dose of medicine so they gave me and its working. Im fine now. Not fully recovered as i expected. Hehe. It'll come if i take my sweet time to eat the medi. Heheh.

Juden had to go to work today. But he called me to pick him up cause he got an interview. He ended up not working. Hehe.

So after everything settled. I take a 3hrs nap, cause i believe that the medi that i took make me feel sleepy. I woke up at 2.30 and i feel much better. And juden asked me whether i want to go to ttg or not. Cause he wanted to play skate. And i dont know he has the power that made me to say yes, though i was mad. Lol.

Late lunch yada..yada..yada.. To ease my anger he brought me to seri kenangan and i was so happy cause its been a while i didnt go to the beach. I have to say that it was so santai and damai and chill. Hehe. I miss the time when we used to spent time together at the beach, taking pictures. I was so happy.

Then we move to skate park. Yada..yada..yada..

He bought a nike shoe cause pasal kasutnya rosak udah. Tapi masih jua di pakainya. Sentimental value. Hehe.

Okay then. Good night.

54days left. <3

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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wednesday.

2011-10-26T09:54:00.001-07:00

Hi.

Its been two days. I know. Im tired, extremely exhausted.

Well today i wasnt in a good mood. PMS that is. Sigh. Everything went wrong.

But its okay, there will always be tomorrow.

Im watching gossip girl right now. Episode 5. Yay!!!

I bought a dress for this upcoming halloween AGM dinner. Still thinking of what should i be. The first thing that came into my mind is being a teenage witch and the last thing would be snow white step mom. Hehe. I'll decide soon.

Just reach home fm stadium its like 12.45am already. And im f. Sleepy. Hehe. Great talk with ali, azim and juden anyways.

63days left well technically since its thursday already it should be 62days left. Jakarta see you soon. Im uber excited to see you. And im well prepared already and that excluding packing. Hehe.
Okay good night.

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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sunday<3

2011-10-23T07:01:00.001-07:00

Hiii.

My sunday was okay. Yep. Okay. I think heheh. I woke up at 730am to do my house chores. And have to come to work at 11. System testing yada..yada..yada.. I was extremely exhausted.

And after that went to tutong with juden and them friends. I got a headache. Feels like someone hit me with a giant frying pan. Exaggerate. Hehe.

On our way back fm tutong juden was about to hit a cat. Literally. Which he already realized that the cat was there and he was being so dramatic, he screamed, i mean a fake scream. Then me and ripin was really shocked and we screamed loudly. Juden laughed. And both of us was very angry. Then we laughed. Funny story though. Tapi my heart was pumping real fast. So part of the story was not that funny. Hehe.

Ate ambuyat. No cravings no anything just randomly choose aminah arif cause we saw the restaurant at sengkurong. So we went there.

Start fm tmrw we will start to battle. End of the month. Payday season. Yada.. Yada..yada...

Okay goodnight.

66days left.

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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saturday.

2011-10-22T07:10:00.001-07:00

Helloooo

I dont upload pictures today cause i didnt take any picture. Which is because i was very exhausted with surveying and window shopping. Hehe.

I bought new product from bodyshop i hope it'll work. =)

And as usual i was here. At the skatepark watching gossip girl on the phone with a loud speaker. As in my car speaker. I was very bored.

Sigh.

I may sound nonsense but everytime i watch gossip girl all i think is i wanna go to new york..hehe. Its just a dream. Which i believe dreams may come true but this one is kind of impossible. I guess. Hehe.

Im obsess right now. Obsess about everything but currently im very obsess about my weight. Im a fun size. My weight went up and down. And im very much concern about it. Sigh. Since when.. I dont know.

And right now i am very hungry cause everytime i feel like eating, i feel so aweful. =(

Okay. Enough of it.

Im sleepy. I owe my self a sleep. Like a long nap.

Okay then. Bye.

67days left.

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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Friday!! TGIF <3

2011-10-21T08:31:00.001-07:00

Hi

Its feels good today cause its friday. Hehe.

Im currently at the 'skatedium'. Back to square one. Will hang out here everynight. Sigh.

I was sad cause we were suppose to go to miri tmrw but our boss. Our as in me an juden is a bitch. They didnt approve our leave. Sob. Sigh.. =((( i miss starbucks marrybrown and i want new wedges.. New new new.... Sigh.. I need new shoes.. New.. everything new...

Oh! I got a new tops today. Heheh. I bought it at the mall cause my lesbian partner, amy brought me to this shop and i find the top was cute. So i bought it. Screw you amy. Lol.

And i cant find new wedges for me. =(

Anyways, i just got back from tsq. Had a dinner with judens family. Hehe. And her mom was a bit angry with me cause i bought him a new rollerblade. Screw you boyfriend. Hehe.

And after that i went to coffee bean to grab my pv with caramel swirl.

I have to admit this im a blogaddict now. Whyy oh whyy.

Okay then good night.

68days left. =)

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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thursday. happy birthday to my love <3

2011-10-20T08:58:00.001-07:00

Hiii!!

Happy birthday to my beloved boyfriend, juden. Hehe. Hope u enjoy with ur bday today i know you were very tired.

I went to le apple to buy him a birthday cake and i saw this cake. So i bought it. Hehe. He was asleep when we suprise him. Kesian..

May ALLAH bless you and us. Amin....

Anyways.. I took halfday today cause its my bf birthday of course. =) things doesnt run well today. Like... I was suppose to take an off on saturday also but my super doesnt allow me cause she said its not fair to others if i take 2 days off this month. I feel like saying f.u to her face.

Sabar! I hate you!!!!! Sigh..

Ah.. Forget about it... I want to be happy. And i stay cool.. Sigh.

Met jason and we had our lunch at nadj. He is very happy now.. Like seriously happy!!!! Good for him...

Just finished watching Libas. Mcm shaolin.soccer. I rate 7/10. Okay lahhhh...

Once again.. Happy birthday sayang.. I love you so much.. Muahugs!

69days left <3

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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wednesday!!!!

2011-10-19T07:32:00.001-07:00

Hello!!!

First of all. I already watched gossip girl episode 4. Happy.. Weeee...

Second. About horrible bosses, i didnt manage to finish the movie cause i was damn sleepy. Lol.

Today was good! Super good. Not exactly. We had our lunch at KJ kiarong. We as in me and amy. But before that i have to fulfill the pregnant lady (hjh kel) lol..to finish her kuay tiaw. I was like oh god pls tell me im not going to be like this until you deliver. I feel bloated already. Lol. Well she can only answer me with a laugh. I feel like im the one who is pregnant. Haha.

And i was craving for redvelvet cupcake at fluer de lys and i bought one. Hehe.

In the office, we were talking about costumes. Cause on this 29th we have this dinner. Themes: halloween. I dont know what to wear. And i dont wanna waste my money just for a costume. Hehe.

Okay.. So i went to mall for dinner. Of course food court. So of all food i decided to eat chicken rice and i wnted rosted chicken. What happen is.. They gave me steam. I was very mad and i said that i wanted roasted why did you give me steam. And guess what she answered me oh ini roasted tadi kami masukkan oven jadi pucat..before I was being a total bitch. juden say its okay..

So okay i shut my mouth. My verygoodmood turned to verybadmood walaupun tia gnya pasal nasi ayam. Dont give me such reason. You can just tell me that it was wrong atleast i still can accept it. Mental!!

Juden got a good news his rollerblade just arrived today. He was freaking happy and super sakai about it. Hehe. Im happy for you sayang. <3

Happy birthday in advance my love. I love you to the fullest. <3

70days left. <3

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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tuesday. 18.10.11 <3

2011-10-18T06:37:00.001-07:00

Hi.

Today i dont feel like doing anything. I just want to lay in my bed.*sings* hehe.

As usual. Work. Cause its tuesday. Hehe.
Had our big boss birthday celebration. Was bored and the food was hmm.. So-so.
Take a look at the picture of the cake above. Its a golf course cake. Yada..yada..yada.. But do you know how much does it cost? $180. Crazy!!!! They collect money frm every staff just for this cake????
Inda lawa. =( and the taste was no that good. Well except for the cream.

Went to the mall with amy during our lunch break cause we were damn full. And we went to charles and keith. Im in love with this wedges but too bad they dont have my size. I can be thankful though. You just save my money. Hehe.

Watching horrible bosses right now. Couldnt rate the movie cause i just start watching it. Hehe.

I realize that my brain is not functioning very well today. Cause everthing was in a mess. Sigh.

71days left. =)

2days left till judens birthday.

Okay. Good night.

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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monday blues.

2011-10-17T07:09:00.001-07:00

Hi!!

My monday didnt start very well. I was to lazy to get up from my bed but i have to. Sigh.

Its okay though. I had fun in the office laughing with my crazy friends. Hehe.

Between the laugh. I cried cause i stalk my fathers facebook. Lol. Somehow, i miss him. Who doesnt love their father anyways? Hope to see you soon. <3

I was craving for lamb chop and butter rice like the whole day. So i had a dinner with juden at charcoal. Yummss. Love it to bits. Hehe. If i gain i have to blame my self. Sigh. Its okay. Just once in a while(as if)

So here i am. Sitting on the couch. The clock's ticking and i still havent sleep yet. And tomorrow morning as usual im going to whine and complaining to others that i dont have enough sleep. Hehe. I know. My bad! =(

Just finished watching penguins. Actor: jim carrey my all time favourite comedian. I rate the movie: emmm 10/10
Better watch it.

When i was a kid i remember the first movie of jim carrey that i watched was liar liar. I keep on playing it repeat..peat..peat..peat.. =p

Oh i miss being a kid.

Cant wait for tomorrow. Another episode of gossip girl. <3 chuck bass. Haha..

72days left. Hehe.

Goodnight.

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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bored. sunday. 11.10pm

2011-10-16T08:20:00.001-07:00

I am super excited. I d k why. May be because its my first time to go to jakarta. And im really looking forward for a vacation.

73days left. Iskiness attack. Hehe.

But people said dont get too excited cause you can be disappointed. And i dont want this to happen. I wanna have some fun and explore smth new. zaii, sabar okay? Hehe.

Rajin tia ku update. Hehe. Attn to android user download blogger-droid. Its super awesome. =)

Goodnight

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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sunday <3

2011-10-16T06:40:00.001-07:00

Currently at skatedium(skate park at stadium) hehe. Im bored so i decided to update and upload the picture of the day. Hehe.

My last last last post i mentioned that i am officially an auntie. And the picture of the baby above is the picture of her. 5months weighing 6.9kg. Lol. Barat. Mcm angkat guni baras. =)

Went to tutong. Nothing better to do i guess. Actually, im craving forrr boxing chicken in KB. It suddenly popped out into my mind. Tapi inda jua jadi cause im tired and i dont want to drive since juden sakit pinggang. Next week sja. Insyallah.

Sigh.

Anyways, yesterday i bumped with muza and zirah at gadong properties. We talked about our study. Govt make an offer where we can continue our study in any private college in brunei di tanggung oleh govt lah. As a part time student but without allowance which i believe its okay. So i planned to continue my study. Its for the best and its for a better future.
Hehe. Hopefully. Insyallah.

Bye.

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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my saturday <3

2011-10-15T10:17:00.001-07:00

Hi again <3

I had enough sleep today. Enough as in real enough. Lol.

Had my meni and pedi cause its been a while.

Dinner date with juden at escapade in kiulap andddddd he had to go to work cause one of the client yada..yada..yada..
Kacau!!!! Well, its not his turn to standby this week. But the friend couldnt make it (andang inda pandai mau jua wah) so juden have to come. No worries. As long the company pay him. Hehe.

His birthday is coming up soon. In five days time. I bought an advance bday present already. USD rollerblade. Tapi belum dtg. And he's uber excited about it. A fossil watch. that one half2 lah we pay. And a ticket to jakarta. I must say its the best birthday present ever. Hehe. Love you sayaaanggggg...

Anyways last month i spend alot on my car. Cause we have the same birthday. yay... NOT! I have to renew my insurance. Service, ofcourse. New tyre. Alignment and chamber (i hope i spell it right)
Its ok though.

Aku sakai wah ne sebenarnya. Because im using blogger-droid which is awesome. And its easy. Rajin tah ku update ne. Hehe.

And the picture above. I wore iamjetfuel galaxy and its really comfortable. Love it to the bone. Thanks yuna for ur briliant idea of designing the jetcirclescarf. <3

Okay. Good night.

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

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2011-10-14T18:22:00.001-07:00

Morninggggg <3

Okay.. So i got my scarvesssss already... Huhu. And i am so happy about it.

One more thing... Im going to jakarta this december. Yay!!!! And i bought the ticket already. So jakarta see you on december.

October was not a good month for me.(not that bad) cause juden's birthday is coming soon. Its bad because my work has turned into bullshit. Through out this year i worked my butt offff but with one mistakes everything turn out to be bad.. EVERYTHING.

just like mumy told me. Kebaikan tani inda kana pandang. But with one mistake they will remember for the rest of your life. Kan? So like muqsit and wan told me kan buat baik di masjid. Sabar.

I believe this is just a test that god give me. =)

Oh yes, i watched season 5 of gossip girl.already. Not the whole season. Just episode 1-3 hehe. Its kinda slow. But i like it. Chuck bass!!!!! <3
Ok im done.

xoxo
Zaii

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PRODUCTIVE SUNDAY=))

2011-09-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

Hi blog!!!

Its a productive sunday. Me, amy and bf start our day hiking at Tasek Lama.
Its been a while we didnt hike. Rindu! And tired =.=

Next agenda will be, tutong. Skate session yada..yada..yada.. As usual, aku hanya peminat setia.
NOT! Lol.

Anyways, im nervous for this upcoming week. I dont know why but yea, hopefully everything run smoothly as i wish. Amin!!!

Hopefully i can settle my ticket to jakarta by next week.insyallah.
And hopefully i have a blast on my birthday. Hehe.

Ohhhhh!! And for the next two weeks, angan2 ku jadi kenyataan.i will own JETCIRCLESCARF(s). With
S i must say. Lol. Thanks boyfriend cause ure willing to pay for the scarfs. I love you. Muahugs

I guess september does makes me happy. Love you september. Hehe

okay, bye..

Love,
Zaii
xoxo

random

2011-09-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

HIII..

I haven't update since APRIL 2011. I missed my laptop so much. hehe.

yes~~ so much that i've been thru. good times bad times yada yada yada. one word.LIFE!!

MAY 2011:-
I am officially an Auntie. hehe. my cousin had a baby girl on the 5.5.11 named SITI QAISARAH FARZANA. i tell you she's the cute little angel. can't wait to have a baby. haha..

err.. what else. as of now main focus is my future. i wanna get married(sounds desperate! LOL) i'm not desperate its just that i think its time already. smpai seru.

okay. i have a lot of interest and obsession like shawl and tudung. i dont know why. lets just get covered =) insyallah. and i want this scarf that design by YUNA, three words JET.CIRCLE.SCARF. here's the link. IAMJETFUEL

i really want it so bad. but i dont do online shopping. cause when i do. no one can control me. trust me. lol. but soon i'll try it. especially the scarf made by YUNA, cause the don't sell it in Brunei. ada plg but pre-order lah. which means, online shopping jua. haha.

and yes DOROTHY PERKINS is on the list. coming soon. INSYALLAH.

anyways. SELAMAT HARI RAYA. i know its too late. but better late than never right?

oh oh. Hasnal, din, me and boyfriend planned to go to JAKARTA this DECEMBER. hehe. hopefully. its been a while i didnt go for a vacation. i hope its a vacation not a retail therapy. lol.

cant wait for gossip girl season 5. i miss chuck bass so much already. lol.

its getting late already. i have to go to work tomorrow. =(

goodnight brothers and sisters.

love,
zaii
xoxo

2011-04-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

Hii

aku mental. cause my surroundings is full with judgmental human who doesnt have a little heart at all!!!

i know that i'm fat. you no need to tell me.. i even see myself in a mirror. tedapat ku ceramin. inda pyh ku membali ceramin di skh. though i look tough from the outside but remember im a human too.

i dont give a damn that i'm fat. but atleast life ku inda bosan!! i wanna try new things in life. not just sit down there and do nothing!!!

entah, this is not the first time i encounter this! i couldnt bare to insult you back. cause i know what you've been thru all these time! and from the bottom of my heart, i was really sympathy of what had happened to you. but you never thank me for doing such thing.

well, as far as i'm concerned that human will never see when we did the good deeds unless you did something bad. people won't stop talking about you! trust me. urg menganangkan kebaikan urang sesudah tani meninggal kan dunia ane. thats what mummy said to me. somehow it does make sense.inda ja? ja~~~~

sigh.. and i found the best way is to ignore you(s)

anyways thanks to fiffy, amy and peej for cheering me up. i love you guys.

as per fiffy faizah, ada ubi ada batas ada hari tuhan saja yg balas. aku tambah.. CASH ON DELIVERY SOMEMORE!!! sigh

okay thats it for today.

love,
zaii
xoxo

hiiiiiiii.....

2011-03-30T08:33:00.001-07:00

hi there... Its been a while.. i know... I know =))) im sorry... So.... There's lot of thing had happen between me and my friends and also my soulmate. There's a fun part, funny part, drama part, sad and everything....

so last week, i met jids and i am freakin happy about it since aku lama sudah inda jumpa iya... We were hanging out and sushi and shopping and paying my bill and update each other.. Gila bangas cerita 3 to 4 years ago kami update ahh. I miss her alot alot alot........... =((

mid march me and the colleague went to labuan under bbrc trip lah. honestly deep in my soul.. I'm having the time of my life disana.. Since its a 'friends only' trip haha..
I went to the club for a first time bukan sakai tapi i had fun. but the part that me and my friends hate the most was kami baby sitting for this woman!!! Kami bukan baby sitter okay. i really wanna leave this woman alone but somehow it just came to my head that to me its our responsibility to look after each other. yada..yada..yadaa...
"what happened it labuan stays in labuan" we made a promise already. . Unless we wna talk about it between us saja. Haha. But for sure when i walked out from the club i am very clean no drugs no alcohol. I swear!!

Hmmm... What else..

Oh yaaaa.... My current obsession is gossip girl... I know i might be too late.. But its better late than never.... And and and.. I love chuck bass(ed westwick) to bits... Chuck bass if you happen to read this I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANNA HUG YOU LIKE BLAIR WALDORF DID. Haha.. Lame much....

So after watching gossip girl... I have this dream or ambition of going to NY so bad which makes my boyfriend and my other friends is sick and tired about it.hehe. I keep on telling them that i reallllyyyy wanna go there. Pasal aku mau kana propose di empire state building okay?? Haha.. I know...too much of dreaming. But hey dreams are free nada charges ahh...

Fiffy bah... she said that i'm the only one who knows everything about evrything.. Then i replied of course im a paparazzi.. And u know what did she replied again? Youre not a paparazzi, youre a gossip girl. Hahaha... Oh man thats bad....

Okay.....Thats it for today...

Love,
Zaii

2010-08-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

HAD A TWO AND A HALF DAYS OFF :D

LOVE IT TO BITS. ITS BEEN A WHILE DIDN'T SPEND TIME WITH THE LOVE ONE. WHEN I HAVE A TIME HE DON'T.WHEN HE HAVE A TIME I DON'T.SIGH.

BOUGHT EVERYTHING FOR RAYA ALREADY. LAST MINUTE SHOPPING. I KNOW ITS NOT A GOOD IDEA. BUT YEA. AS LONG AS I HAVE SOMETHING THOUGH I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE RAYA AT ALL. ITS JUST PART OF ME I CAN'T LET GO. RAYA EQUALS TO SHOPPING. EHEH.

ANYWAYS, I MISS EVERYTHING BACK THEN. THE SCHOOL LIFE. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND STUDY. I JUST DON'T KNOW IF MY BRAIN STILL WANTS TO STUDY OR NOT. SIGH.

AND I SUCK AT DRIVING MANUALS. I HATE IT YOU KNOW. THE TEACHER SELALU MARAH AKU =.="
SABAR SAJA. :D

INSYALLAH I'LL PASS MY TEST. :D

BAH I'M OFF TO BED.

NIGHTY NIGHT.

LOVE,
ZAII

2010-08-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

HI, ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I UPDATE THIS BLOG. THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS HAD HAPPENED THE PAST FEW WEEKS, MONTHS I GUESS. LOVE, FRIENDS, HATERS, WORK, LIFE.

BEFORE I START, JUST WANNA SAY. HAPPY FASTING TO ALL MUSLIM INCLUDING ME. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME TODAY.. LYING ON MY BED DOING NOTHING. I WATCHED THREE MOVIES. MOVIE MARATHON LAH TU. :D

SO FEW DAYS BEFORE PUASA WE WENT TO AL'S PARTY. THE PARTY WAS AWESOME. FASHIONISTA IS THE THEMES. BUT YEA, I DON'T KNOW IF I GET THE RIGHT DRESS CODE. LALALA. :D
ANYWAYS THANKS AL FOR INVITING US. LOVE YOU MUCH.

ME AND FIFFI HANGED OUT WITH MUQSIT AFTER THE PARTY. GOSSIPING. HAHA. SO HIS FRIENDS CALLED HIM THE GOSSIP GUY. NOT COOL. :D

WENT TO MIRI WITH MY FRIENDS AND BOYFRIEND LAST MONTH. IT WAS A FUN DAY TRIP.
GUYS, DO IT AGAIN!!!

SO 29 MORE DAYS TO RAYA. I DON'T REALLY GET THE FEELING OF IT ANYMORE. ENTAH. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY. I DON'T REALLY FEEL ENTHUSIASTIC LAGI.

SIGH. AND GUESS WHAT. I HAVEN'T PREPARE EVERYTHING. LIKE KAINS FOR RAYA. SHOES, BAGS, CAKE, CLEANING THE HOUSE. I DON'T KNOW. I JUST DON'T FEEL ITS COMING SOON.

OH I WATCHED SALT WITH JUDEN. IT WAS AN AWESOME MOVIE. EXCEPT THE ENDING PART. YEA YEA YEA.. I TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT.. WHEN I'M NOT SATISFIED I'LL MOCK. BIG DEAL SANGAT!

OH OH... GUESS WHAT I'M IN THE PROCESS OF TAKING A LEGAL DRIVING LICENSE. HEHE :D

EM BAH I'M OUT.. I DON'T WANNA CHECK MY POST LGI. SO SORRY IF ADA ANY ERRORS :D

LOVE
ZAII

defying gravity. I am.

2010-07-09T20:29:00.000-07:00

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!

I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
bring me down

F.U

2010-07-07T09:03:00.000-07:00

HI BLOG!

THESE PAST FEW DAYS OR MAYBE MONTHS PERHAPS, I HAVE THIS FEELING THAT I REALLY CAN'T GET IT OFF FROM MY SELF. GRUDGES, HATES, ANGRY, TRY TO KILL OTHERS, KEEP SWEARING TILL SOMEONE SAY STOP.

I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT HAPPY THIS LATELY. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYTHING. AND TODAY, I HEARD FROM SOMEONE WHO INDIRECTLY COMPLAINED ABOUT MY WORKING SKILLS. I MIGHT SUCK AT WORK BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ME. SERIOUSLY. WHEN I FEEL LIKE KILLING, I'LL KILL. SLOWLY AND SMOOTHLY I WANT YOU TO FEEL THE PAIN INCH BY INCH. SOUNDS PSYCHO BUT YEA THIS IS ME. ACCEPT ME THE WAY I AM.

I'M SICK AND TIRED WITH ALL THE DRAMAS THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH. YOU MAKE ME HATE YOU EACH AND EVERYTIME I SEE YOUR FACE. I DON'T KNOW. YOUR INNOCENT LOOKS MAKES ME HATE YOU. YOU ARE THE WORST EVIL THAT I'VE SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

ALL OF YOUR WORDS ARE BULLSHIT. SERIOUSLY. GO BACK TO YOUR NEST, WHEN YOU WAKE UP, SEE THE WORLD WITH YOUR EYES OPEN WIDELY AND CLEARLY. DON'T SAY THE WORLD ISN'T FAIR. IT IS FAIR CAUSE ITS ROUND. ITS JUST THAT ITS NOT MY TURN YET. TIMES FLY. SO YEA BE IT. AKU SABAR! BUT DON'T PUSH ME! I HAVE LIMITS.

ZAII

...AND STILL..

2010-05-15T13:19:00.000-07:00

I STAND UP FOR YOU. I'LL FIGHT FOR MY LIFE FOR YOU. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHY IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. MY LIFE IS IN AN AWFUL MESS. I REMAIN SILENT.

I STAND STILL BY YOUR SIDE TO PROTECT YOU. YET, I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING CHANGE. I'M TRYING TO BE A SUPERWOMAN TO YOU. BUT IT DOESN'T WORK AT ALL.

I SACRIFICE EACH AND EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE. STILL IT DOESN'T WORTH ANYTHING TO YOU TO SEE I'M STILL EXIST.

BEHIND THESE SMILES, BEHIND THE LAUGHTER THERE'S TEARS. TOO MUCH BURDEN I CARRY.
BUT TO SEE YOU SMILE I FEEL HAPPY.

I ACT STRONG WHEN I'M NOT. THIS EGO TOLD ME TO DO SO.

I STAND ON MY OWN WITH MY TWO FEET ON THE GROUND. AND STILL YOU DIDN'T SEE ME. I AM INVISIBLE TO YOU. SIGH.

HIT ME, HATE ME, PUT THE BLAME ON ME AND I WILL ALWAYS STILL LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU BEFORE AND AFTER AND YES, FOREVER.

I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

LOVE,
ZAII

2010-05-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

SO, MY CURRENT OBSESSION ARE. EHM.

FIRST IS;

YEA~

I KNOW.. GLEE.. I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I THINK THIS IS THE BEST DRAMA SERIES EVER AND I REALLY CAN'T WAIT WHATS HAPPENING NEXT. I'M GOING INSANE ABOUT THIS SERIES. :D

SO SECOND WILL BE;

AHUH.. IRON MAN 2. I FOUND THIS CERITA IS COOL. AND I MADE MYSELF THINK THAT HE'S A SUPERHERO DUH~

YOU MAY CALL ME LAME. BUT I DON'T CARE. I HAVE MY OWN LIFE. YOU CALL ME LAME I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU "GET A LIFE AND YEA FUCK YOU"

ERR. NO OFFEND :D

OH THERE'S ANOTHER ONE;

YES~ ERR..

I FEEL LIKE A NERD OR GEEK. BUT ITS BEEN A WHILE I DIDN'T FEEL THE OBSESSION LIKE THIS. I BET MASA SCHOOL TIME SAJA.

BUT HEY, I LOVE BEING MY SELF. ATLEAST AKU HONEST :D

LOVE,
ZAII

my 7th anniversary ♥

2010-05-01T22:53:00.000-07:00

BABY, HAPPY 7TH ANNIVERSARY♥. THROUGH THE GOOD AND BAD TIMES, THROUGH THE LAUGH AND THE SMILE, THROUGH THE HAPPINESS AND SORROW. YOU WERE ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME. I LOVE YOU. THIS SEVEN YEARS OF BEING WITH YOU, I NEVER FEEL BORED. LOVING YOU MORE AND MORE EACH DAY MAKES MY LIFE HAPPIER AND I GREW STRONGER.

WHEN MY HEART WAS IN FRAGILE YOU WERE THERE FOR ME TO WRAP UP MY HEART SO THAT I WON'T BREAK MY HEART.

LIFE MUST BE TOUGHER WITHOUT YOU.

I LOVE YOU BABY, I ALWAYS DO. TILL DEATH DO US APART.♥

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me♥

LOVE,
ZAII

2010-04-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

AKU MENTAL TODAY. LIKE TO THE MAX. THE MAN BITCH OR THE DICK HIT MY TEMPER TO THE MAXIMUM POINT. SO MY ADVISE TO HIM WOULD BE. IF YOU THINK I DIDN'T WORK MY ASS OFF. AND IF YOU THINK I WORK VERY SLOW LIKE A SNAIL. SO MOVE ON. FIND SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME. WHEN YOU INTERVIEW THEM ASK THEM TO HAVE A 100M MARATHON, THE ONE WHO WIN WILL GET THE JOB.

DON'T YOU KNOW HOW IS IT FEELS LIKE WHEN ALL THE ROCKS ARE FALLING ON YOU. THAT'S WHAT YOU DID TO ME. SORRY BUT I CURSE YOU HOPE YOU ARE MUCH MUCH MORE STRESS-ER ARAH YOUR NEW WORK. I REALLY-REALLY PRAY FOR THAT.

AKU TAU. AKU MEMANG JAHAT. YOU GIVE ME A ~~SHIT~~ I GIVE YOU A ~~BULLSHIT~~. YOU WANNA PLAY WITH ME, I'LL PLAY WITH YOU TOO. WHAT? YOU'RE MEAN. OKAY I CAN BE MORE MEANER THAN YOU. SO BACK OFF!

I CAN ACCEPT WHAT YOU'VE SAID TO ME, I KNOW I WOULD NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. ITS JUST THAT I THINK YOU HAVE NO ~~FUCKING~~ BRAIN TO THINK AND NO ~~FUCKING~~ EYES TO SEE. YOU HAVE 2PAIRS OF EYES AND STILL YOU CANNOT SEE WHO DO THEIR WORK AND WHO DON'T.

OH LETS JUST SAY.. GET AN EYE JOB YOU MOFO!

I HATE IT WHEN I FEEL UNAPPRECIATED, SERIOUSLY I DO. YOU SAY SOMETHING BAD TO ME I DON'T MIND. BUT WHEN YOU DIDN'T APPRECIATE ME. ONE WORD. GOODBYE. *SNAP

I HOPE YOU'RE NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR NEW WORK NANTI SAME LIKE I FEEL RIGHT NOW. I WISH I COULD HIRE SOMEONE WHO HAVE THE MURDERING LICENSE SO THAT I COULD KILL YOU.

BACK OFF AND ~~FUCK~~ YOU.

I ~~FUCKING~~ HATE YOU.

SINCERELY,
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE CLERK.

2010-04-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

DEAR,

I ADMIT THAT I REALLY MISS YOU, I KNOW MY EGO HOLD ME BACK NOT TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS YOU. ITS BEEN FOUR YEARS SINCE YOU LEFT. AND I NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN. THOSE PEAK TIMES, I FELT VERY FRAGILE AND INSECURE.

LOSING YOU IS LIKE LOSING SOMETHING PRECIOUS IN YOUR LIFE. YOU USED TO BE MY SUPERMAN. BUT WHY IS IT NOW YOU TURNED TO VILLAINS.

TO KNOW THAT YOU STILL REMEMBER MY FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPINGS I FEEL SO GLAD, AT LEAST AT HEART I KNOW YOU STILL LOVE ME.

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, I'M OKAY HERE WITHOUT YOU THOUGH I MISS YOU.

YOU USED TO BE MY SAVIOR. WHY NOW YOU TEAR MY HEART INTO PIECES.

BECAUSE OF YOU, MY WORST FEAR IS LOSING SOMEONE ELSE AGAIN. YOU LEAVE ME IN VAIN.

IT HURTS ME SO MUCH, WHEN YOU WALKED AWAY. I'M MAD BUT THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN SAY.

I PRETEND MY SELF TO BE STRONG WHEN I'M NOT. I SAY I HATE YOU WHEN I DIDN'T MEAN IT AT ALL.

I'M SORRY DADDY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT NOTHING CAN CHANGE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

LOVE,
YOUR DAUGHTER.

2010-04-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

You taught me everything
And everything you've given me
I always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah
There isn't anything
Or anyone that I can be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side
You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You will always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times 

Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin' you is like food to my soul
Yes it is 

 
You're always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did
And you took up for me
When everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be
You will always be the girl in my life

Never gonna go a day without you 
Fills me up just thinking of you
I'll never go a day without my mama

Yes you are

song for mama-boyz II men. love you mama. 

HAPPY 41ST BIRTHDAY TO MUMMY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

LOVE,

ZAII

not a productive day.

2010-04-23T07:02:00.001-07:00

I'm bored. Sitting here watching the others gambling. Not a real gambling. Aku pun main big two. 

well, my plan doesn't work tadi. pasal aku kan buat composition arah aku punya leave application form. cuz the dick ckp bisai2 rah ku.

So, i don't play sarcastic tadi. 

But 1 thing that made me go insane tadi cause, all of a sudden the dick ask me to volunteer for the golf something. mental ku. I wear baju kurung. And i think i stinks the whole day.

So, i don't do my job very well. Buset.

Anyhoos, queen of my heart's birthday is coming up soon. Happy birthday mama.

love you. Though we're not that close like before. But i will always love u.

So here's the photo what we've been doing since tadi. 

I know. its like we had a real gambling haha. well, its been a while since aku cemani. guess kami berapa urang saja. emm. 5 person altogether. hehe. i found this picture is cool. i think i can make a poster for this photo. hehe.

well actually we're not doing something productive pulang. but hey, why not. its once in a while saja kami cemani i guess =.="

p/s saya sayang sahabat-sahabat handai ku sekalian. :D

LOVE,
ZAII

MY BOSSES ARE DICKSMIRK

2010-04-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

HI

TADI AKU TEXT SAMA FIFFI. MY BOSS(THE BITCH) YELLING AT THEM AKU APPLY CUTI WITH REASON "PERSONAL MATTER" I DON'T FEEL MAD AT ALL. ESUK AKU BUAT KARANGAN DI LEAVE APPLICATION KU OKEH! SCREW YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR THOUGHTS.

OH, THIS LYRICS KAN NGAM FOR HER;

"I HATE MY JOB, MY BOSS IS A DICK,
I DON'T GET PAID NEARLY ENOUGH,
TO PUT UP ALL HER SHIT"

BOSS, YOU'RE A PREGNANT WOMAN. YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL ENOUGH SAYING THINGS. IF PEOPLE HATE YOU THEY'LL SWEAR YOU FROM HEAD TO TOE. MAYBE EVEN THE BABY INSIDE OF YOUR "PERANAKAN" (INDA KU TAU APA ENGLISHNYA WAH)!!

I SOUNDS MAD. YES I AM. TRYING TO BE COOL. BUT HEY. I HAVE MY OWN RIGHTS TO HAVE CUTI BILA-BILA MASA KU MAU.

HAVING LUNCH TOGETHER JADI ISSUE? GAWD. I'M NOT IN A SCHOOL ANYMORE. YOU DON'T WANNA BE MY TEACHER, I TELL YOU.

I WONDER WHY SOME PEOPLE WANTS TO KISS DRNG PUNYA ASS. SIUK KAH JADI ASS KISSER ANE?

POKOKNYA ALL MY BOSS IS A DICK. WELL SOME OF EM PLG.

SOON IT'LL BE ANOTHER DICK ARAH KAMI. OH MY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE KAMI PUNYA SUPERVISOR.

I'M TRYING TO LOVE MY JOB. BUT IT SEEMS THAT INDA KU DAPAT BAH. I ONLY LOVE THE PEOPLE YG ADA DISANA. WHICH IS NOT MY BOSS.

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF MY JOB. HANDLING ONE ISSUE TO ANOTHER. THAT'S WHAT I HATE ABOUT IT. WHEN YOU WORK HARD AND THE OTHERS GOT CREDIT. IT REALLY SUCKS ME OUT.

SO AS FIFFI SAID, IN CONCLUSION I WON'T BE THAT HARDWORKING ANYMORE. BUT YET STILL I CAN'T KEEP MY PROMISE. I DON'T KNOW WHY. =.="

BAH. UDAH TAH.

P/S AKU MENTAL.

LOVE,
ZAII

i heart you. and i always do.

2010-04-14T08:05:00.000-07:00

TIME AFTER TIME, DAY BY DAY I SEE YOU CHANGING AND FADING AWAY. I CLOSED MY EYES AND I SHUT MY MOUTH. WHY NOW? WHY? YOU REALIZED THAT ME TOO FADING AWAY FROM YOU. WAS IT ME THE ONE WHO'S AVOIDING YOU?

SINCE WHEN WE TALK ABOUT FEELINGS? YOU HURT ME. I IGNORE. AS IF THAT NOTHING HAPPENED BEFORE. BECAUSE I REMEMBER THAT WE ARE FRIENDS FOREVER.

THE TIME I WASTED. I COULD DO NOTHING MUCH BUT DISAPPOINTED. SIGH.

WHY NOW, YOU REALIZED THAT WE'RE NOT THAT CLOSE ANYMORE.

I TRIED EVERYTHING TO SAVE YOU. BUT WHAT DID YOU DO?

THOSE TIMES THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH. I FEEL LIKE NOTHING BUT WASTED.
THOSE TIMES THAT WE SHARE THE LAUGHTER AND TEARS BEFORE HAS TURNED INTO ASHES.

THE PROMISES WE'VE MADE HAD BROKEN INTO PIECES. WHERE'S THE MEANING OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP? WHY IS IT TURNED INTO HATRED?

YOU. THE NAUGHTIEST, THE CRAZIEST, THE NOISIEST? WHERE IS IT GONE?
I CAN'T SEE YOU ANYMORE. THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN SEE IS THE SILENT YOU. THE MELLOW YOU.THE SORROW YOU. WHERE'S THE HAPPINESS? WHERE'S THE LAUGHTER? I SEE NOTHING. I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE PUTS A BLINDFOLD ON ME AND I HARDLY CAN SEE YOU. I HARDLY RECOGNIZE YOU.

PEOPLE AROUND YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU. ITS JUST THAT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU FELT DISAPPOINTED THE SAME WAY AS I DO. AND WE DON'T WANT YOU TO DROWN INTO THE "DEEP OCEAN" BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU. DON'T BLAME ON ANYONE ELSE CAUSE I BELIEVE ITS YOU.

SORRY.I LOVE YOU. AND YES I ALWAYS DO.

LOVE,
ZAII

confession part II :D

2010-04-11T03:04:00.000-07:00

I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. I THANK GOD THAT I FOUND THIS GUY. HE CAN UNDERSTAND ME FOR WHO I AM. I THANK GOD HE'S NOT THE KING CONTROL.

FOR BETTER OR WORSE I'LL ALWAYS LOVE HIM. NO MATTER HOW HARSH WE ARE. \m/

I LOVE THIS GUY. HE NEVER SAY NO. WHEN I SAY I WANNA BE WITH MY FRIENDS. HE NEVER SAY NO TO ME ACCEPT IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG THAT CAN CHANGE THE WHOLE THING.

THIS GUY TEACH ME HOW TO BE STRONG. THIS GUY DON'T WANNA LET ME DOWN. HE ALWAYS FIND A THOUSAND WAY TO MAKE ME SMILE. (OR MAYBE I'M THE CLOWN =.=")

I LOVE YOU BABY, AND I WILL ALWAYS DO.

THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ME. AND THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

LOVE,
ZAII

the boredom strikes again.

2010-03-27T23:33:00.000-07:00

BORED.
SYG KERJA.
MY POCKET'S EMPTY.
SLEEPLESS NIGHT.
FEELS LIKE IN A NO-WHERE ISLAND.
MY SISTERS ACTING SO WEIRD. SHE'S ANNOYING.
WANNA WATCH A MOVIE BUT TOO BAD I'M LAZY
HUNGRY? NO. I JUST EAT MY BRUNCH
TIKI RESORT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW.
FACEBOOK? GETTING BORED OF IT.
YOU TUBE? HELL NO.
BEACH? YES PLEASE. VERY MUCH INDEED.
MONEY. AHUH. I WANT.
ASK MUMMY FOR KACHINGS. I'LL BE DEAD.
LONER. LOSER ME.
MISSING MY FRIENDS.
MISSING MY SAYANG.
MC DONALD PLEASE. MC CHICKEN PLEASE.
SUSHI. YESS.
STEAKS. YES.
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? NO IDEA.
WORK? SUCKS.
BORING SUNDAY.
LYING FLAT ON MY SOFA. WELL I'M NOT FLAT. *ROLLS EYE*
WANTS A DRIVING LICENSE SO BADLY. BUT. TOO MUCH THINGS TO DO TOO LITTLE MONEY I HAVE.
NEW EYE MAKE UP. I'M GETTING BORED OF MY OLD ONE.
TOMORROW FIRST THING FIRST WHEN I RECEIVE MY SALARY. I WANT MC DONALD.
NEED A NEW WEDGE. RUNNING OUT OF SHOES. T-SHIRTS. PANTS. DRESS. SKIRTS. (AS IF THAT I WEAR SKIRTS) =.="
WELL I HAVE AN IDEA. I SHOULD CLEAN MY ROOM. *BIG SMILE* BUT. ME? LAZY.
BAH I'M OFF :D

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE;
ZAII

random. again. bored. sigh.

2010-03-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

ME AND FIFFI HAD A JOBLESS NIGHT. DRAMA-QUEENING ON MSN. *FAINTS* HAHA.

AND SHE'S SAID THAT "WE'RE THE WORK OF ART" LOL.

I STAYED AT HOME ON A SATURDAY NIGHT? THAT'S ODD. LOL. NAH~ I'M JUST BROKE. :D

BUT IT'S WORTH IT TO STAY AT HOME RATHER THAN SPENDING YOUR MONEY TO SOMETHING YG INDA WORTH IT. WAIT. *ROLLS EYE* AS IF. LOL.

CAN'T WAIT FOR PAYDAY. I NEED A NEW CAMERA. PLEASE. AND FIFFI ALWAYS KEEP ON BUGGING ME TO BUY THE WATERPROOF CAMERA SINCE MY LAST CAMERA GUGUR ARAH PANTAI. *ROLLS EYE AGAIN FI* :D

OKAY NOW I'M HUNGRY ITS LIKE 2.49AM. SLEEPOVER AGAIN AT JUDEN'S HOMEY.

ANYWAYS, ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I GO TO THE BEACH. BUT TOO BAD SYG'S WORKING TOMORROW. SIGH.

I REALIZE I TALK CRAP IN THIS POST. I JUST FEEL LIKE BLOGGING BUT THIS TIME I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ON EARTH THAT I'M WRITING ABOUT.

WELL AS FIFFI SAID "WE'RE THE WORK OF ART" HAHA. AS IF.

OUR SEVEN ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP SOON. IN ONE MONTH TIME. SIGH. I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TO DO ON OUR ANNIVERSARY. LETS SAY IF WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A DINNER. FOR ME ITS A COMMON THING BECAUSE WE ALWAYS DO THAT. WHAT? IN A SPECIAL RESTAURANT. ALSO ITS A COMMON THING SINCE WE LOVE TO EAT. :D I WANNA TRY SOMETHING NEW. LAST YEAR WE CHECKED IN DI EMPIRE THIS TIME WHERE?

I WAS THINKING ABOUT KURAMAN ISLAND. SCUBA DIVING ON OUR ANNIVERSARY? YEAH ITS GOING TO BE FUN. HAD A SUNBURN ON OUR ANNIVERSARY? HAHA. NO WAY.

END OF MAY WE'RE GOING TO K.K SO LET ME JUST THINK TWICE ABOUT KURAMAN. SIGH. BUT I REALLY WANT IT PULANGGGG..

OH YES,

MY NEW SUPERVISOR SUCKS. SHE WON'T PAY US FOR OUR OVERTIME? WTH? AS IF THAT THE HR DEDUCT YOUR SALARY TO PAY OURS. BUSET. BEETCH. I'M TIRED. I WORK HARD AND I FEEL VERY UNAPPRECIATED. SO BANAR BANAR I HAVE TO MOVE ON BEFORE ITS GETTING WORSE. I LOVE MY JOB BUT TOO BAD ITS JUST NOT FOR ME. I WORK HARD BUT PAY LESS. HOW ABOUT WORK LESS AND PAY MORE. LIKE SOMEONE WHOM THE NAME SHOULD NOT BE MENTION IN MY LING-LING'S :D

=.="

MISSING THEM FRIENDS SO MUCH. JASON. BALIK TAH WAH. MY LIFE WOULD BE IMPERFECT WITHOUT YOU. MBRIGALI *ROLLS EYE AGAIN* AWU SERIOUSLY I MISS YOU. INDA KU MANDGR LABANG MU. BUT DEFINITELY YOU'LL SHOUT AT ME IF KAU LIAT YOUR ROOM ON MONDAY :D
SORRY DETECTIVE MONK.

BAH BAH. I'M OFF TO BED. THE MORE I TYPE THE MORE I FEEL LIKE I'M WRITING A PIECE OF CRAP.

JASON, YOUR MUMMY REPLACE YOU IN THIS PHOTO AH. :D

LOVE,
ZAII

when boredom strikes :P

2010-03-25T05:57:00.000-07:00

SO THIS IS WHAT WE DID, LAST SATURDAY. EVER PLANS INDA SUCCESS, I END UP HANG OUT WITH FIFFI AND BF. SO FIFFI BRING THIS BOOK. THE SO CALLED "BIODATA BOOK" WHICH EVERYONE WANTS TO BE COOL IN IT. AND ALSO THE OWNER. HAHA.

BUT I LOVE FIFFI'S PAGE. SEE HOW COOL IS IT. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT SHE CAN BE THIS CREATIVE. HAHA.

THERE'S SOME PART THAT YOU WOULD LAUGH READING IT. BUT TOO BAD ITS NOT REALLY CLEAR.

WELL I'VE BEEN THRU THIS BEFORE. WHO DOESN'T? AND I FOUND THIS FUN. I WISH I STILL HAVE THE BOOK. TOO BAD I DESTROYED IT. I DON'T KNOW WHY. MAYBE BECAUSE I THINK IT SUCKS. HAHA. I STILL REMEMBER THAT THE COLOUR OF THE BOOK IS WAY WAY TOO GREEN AND SHINY. AND I STICK A POSTER OF BACKSTREET BOYS AND WESTLIFE.WTH? HAHA. CRAPP..

BUT I STILL HAVE SOME BOOKS WHICH I THINK IT'S WORTH IT TO KEEP IT. FOR EXAMPLE
MY DIARY AND SOME BOOKS WHICH CONTAINS THE CONVERSATION OF ME AND JUDEN.

SOMETIMES I BLUSHED WHEN I READ THOSE BOOKS. I FEEL LIKE "OH CHILDISH ME" LOL.

BUT I MISS OLD TIMES. WHO DOESN'T??

AWW, IT REMINDS ME OF MY SCHOOL LIFE.

ENOUGH OF THIS. I'LL UPDATE SOON. FIFFI GIVE ME IDEA. :D

LOVE,
ZAII

2010-03-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

I MISS YOU SO MUCH

THANK YOU FOR BEING A HERO TO MY LIFE.

WHEN I'M IN YOUR ARM, I FEEL VERY SAFE AND SECURE.

I MISS THE TIME THAT WE USED TO HAVE TOGETHER.
I PROMISE I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

SIGH.

WHEN I WAS DOWN, THE ONLY PERSON THAT I CAN LEAN ON IS YOU. YOU WIPE MY TEARS, YOU CLEAR MY SORROW.
YOU GIVE ME STRENGTH TO MOVE ON.

YOU LIGHT MY DARKEST NIGHT. YOU GUIDE ME WALKING THROUGH THE PATH WITH FULL OF SPINES.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU FOR BEING WITH ME THROUGH THE GOOD AND BAD TIMES. THANK YOU FOR PROTECTING ME.

LOVE,
ZAII

fragile heart

2010-03-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

A fragile heart was broken before
I don't think it could endure another pain
But there's a voice from deep inside of you
That's calling out to make you realize

That this new bond gives inspiration 
To all who feel no love appeal no more
So how can I break this wall around you
That's aiding both our hearts to grow in pain

So forget your past, and we can dream tomorrow 
Save our hearts for care and lovin too
It's hard I know, but oh
One thing for sure
Don't go and break this fragile heart

A hurting mind in need of emotion 
I don't think I could endure another pain
But baby in you, I've found affection
Affection I have never felt before

So don't let your past destroy what comes tomorrow 
Don't go and break my fragile heart

With all this fire that burns between us 
There's so much to lose
Yet so much more to gain
And if I could, choose the world around me
The world I'd choose would all revolve around you
So help me complete the game inside me
And help to mend my fragile heart.

by-westlife.

 
aku tau aku emo :D

love,

zaii 

part of the list =D

2010-03-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

AND I THINK ITS PART OF MY OBSESSION NOW.I WONDER WOULD IT BE NICE IF I PUT "JAYZEE" ON THE NECKLACE. OH IT MUST BE CUTE. =D

THANKS TO FIFFI WHO SHOWED ME THIS NECKLACE. =.="

SO I'LL PUT THIS IN MY 2010 LIST =D

SYG, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. =D *HUG YOU*

XOXO

LOVE,
ZAII

2010-03-10T04:09:00.001-08:00

LESSON OF THE DAY; APPRECIATE THE TIMES THAT WE HAVE FOR SOMEONE THAT WE LOVE.

LAST WEEK THE FIRST OF MARCH, MY BF'S FRIEND PASSED AWAY BECAUSE OF THE TRAGICAL ACCIDENT. I SIGH DEEPLY.

I CRIED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN STALKING HIS GF FACEBOOK PAGE. I KEEP ON CRYING AND SIGHING EVERYTIME I READ HER STATUS. TELLING OTHERS HOW MUCH HE MISS ALIF AND I BELIEVE SHE SUFFERED MUCH OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO HER.

I CRY EVERYTIME I LOG ON TO HER PAGE. I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE IF I'M IN HER SHOES. LOSING SOMEONE THAT REALLY PRECIOUS TO YOU IS LIKE YOU ARE LOSING THE WHOLE THING IN YOUR LIFE.

AND I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME. BUT IF I THINK TWICE. SOMEHOW AND SOMEDAY IT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. THIS IS LIFE. WE'RE NOT LIVING IN THE HEREAFTER WORLD.

THIS WHOLE THING MAKE ME REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO APPRECIATE THE TIMES THAT WE HAVE TO BE WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. AND THAT INCLUDES MY FAMILY, FRIENDS AND MY BOYFRIEND. OR WHOEVER I LOVE.

THE SADDEST THING ABOUT THE STORY IS; 19 MORE DAYS TO THEIR 1ST ANNIVERSARY AND DAYS BEFORE HE'S GONE THEY WERE VERY CLOSE.

SIGH.

EVERSINCE THAT DAY, I BECAME PARANOID ABOUT EVERYTHING. AND HOPEFULLY I CAN GET RID OF IT.

i love you love.

its time for gLee :D

love,
zaii

2010-02-20T09:07:00.001-08:00

SO THIS IS MY LATEST PICTURE WITH JUDEN, WHICH WE DIDN'T TAKE SO MUCH PICTURE LIKE WE USED TO. BECAUSE I HAVE A DOUBLE CHIN. LOL

SO YEA, ME, FIFFI, JASON AND JIDAH HAD THIS TALKED. AND ITS ALL ABOUT KARMA.

THEY DID THIS EVIL THING AFTER DATING SOMEONE AND THEY LEAVE THEIR DATE WITH QUESTION MARK ON THE DATE'S HEAD. SOUNDS FUNNY. FIFFI TOLD ME ABOUT HER WEIRDEST, LAMEST, WORST DATE EVER. I LAUGHED SO HARD. IN THE END SHE LEFT THIS MAN WITH QUESTION MARK.

SO TALKING ABOUT ME, LETS JUST REVERSE THIS THING AROUND. I AM THE VICTIM. BUT HEY ITS HISTORY. AND I REALIZE I FOUND SOMEONE BETTER, THAT REALLY CHANGE MY LIFE. I DON'T HAVE A LIFE BEFORE. I HAVE IT WHEN I MET HIM. SO I BELIEVE IN THIS PHRASE THAT JIDAH TOLD ME "IF YOU LOSE SOMETHING YOU WILL GAIN SOMETHING FROM IT" ITS MAKE SENSE KAN?

SO, I'M A BIT DISAGREE WITH THIS WHOLE THING CALLED DATE AND RUN OR FUCK AND RUN. IT REALLY HURT SOMEONE WHO IS VERY INNOCENCE.

IN CONCLUSION, THEY END UP BEING THE VICTIM OF LOVE, WHICH I BELIEVE ITS A KARMA THING. AND I BELIEVE KARMA IS A BAD BAD BITCH. YOU DO IT ONCE KARMA WILL GIVE YOU A DOUBLE PAY. WHICH IS NOT GIVING YOU ANY ADVANTAGES AT ALL.

OKAY NOW I'M STUCK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT IT.

BUT THEN, WHAT THEY TOLD ME IS FUNNY. ESPECIALLY THE LAMEST DATE EVER "AWW, I LIKE YOUR FRINCH" HAHA. THAT WAS THE LAMEST JOKE I'VE EVER HEARD.

SO, YEA, I THANK GOD FOR GIVING ME A MAN WHO'S BEING SUCH A WONDERFUL MAN IN MY LIFE. THOUGH WE DON'T DO THE ACTUAL COUPLES DO. WE'RE GOING TO SAVE IT FOR OUR MARRIAGE. I ADMIT WE'RE VERY SELDOM BEING ROMANTIC WITH EACH OTHER, WHICH I CAN SEE THAT EVERYONE THINK THAT WE ARE THE WEIRDEST COUPLE EVER. BUT WHATEVER EVERYONE SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT US. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT IT. AS LONG AS WE'RE HAPPY TOGETHER.

ERR, I DON'T TO WRITE TOO MUCH ON THIS POST. CAUSE I DON'T WANNA BE AN EMO. LOL.

WITH LOVE,
ZAII

BABY, I LOVE YOU :D
<3 <3

2010-02-10T03:44:00.000-08:00

I THINK TODAY WE'RE HAVING A BAD DAY GOT A KICK ASS FROM MY OFFICER, I HAVE TO DESTROY LIKE 4BOOKS OF CHEQUES BECAUSE OF SOME ERRORS. SIGH. AND A FRIEND OF MINE WERE MAD AT ME AND ZUL BECAUSE OF SMALL THING. AND ZUL WAS LIKE, UDAH TAH WAH NGUSUT. THEN HE STARTED TO MAD AT US. YEA I AM A BIT DISAPPOINTED.

BEING ARROGANT AND SAID DON'T DARE ME MAN, I STILL HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS, YOU DON'T WANT US TO TALK FOR HOW LONG, ONE YEAR TWO YEARS OR PROBABLY FOREVER. HE SAID THIS TO ZUL, WHICH I BELIEVE THAT WHAT ZUL SAID DOESN'T MAKE PEOPLE FEEL OFFENDED AT ALL.

WELL I AGREE WITH HIS WORDS, LOSING A FRIEND ITS LIKE WE LOSE NOTHING. THE THING IS, IF YOU LOSE A GOOD FRIEND YOU LOSE I THINK SOME PART OF YOUR LIFE WHICH I THINK THAT YOUR LIFE IS IN MISERABLE AND INCOMPLETE.

IF THE ONLY REASON WHY HE'S MAD AT US IS JUST BECAUSE HE GOT PROBLEMS WITH HER LOVE LIFE OR FAMILY, THAT REALLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AT ALL.

EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN PROBLEM, I HAVE MINE TOO. AND THERE WILL ALWAYS A WAY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM OTHER THAN YELLING AT OTHERS WHICH KAMI LEFT UNSPOKEN AND QUESTION MARKS ON OUR HEAD.

WELL, I UNDERSTAND HUMAN DO MAKE MISTAKES, BUT THIS TIME ITS TOO MUCH. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME OF MY LIFE A FRIEND OF MINE YELLED AT US AND WE DON'T KNOW WHY.

AND I FOUND IT SO FUNNY PULANG BECAUSE IT IS TOO DRAMATIC YOU KNOW. HA HA.

FORGET ABOUT IT. SIGH. HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL TOMORROW.

LOVE,
ZAII

hip to the hop

2010-02-09T06:27:00.000-08:00

I'M SURE LOTS AND LOTS OF PEOPLE KNOW THIS TWO PERSON VERY VERY WELL. TOO PHAT, WHO DON'T KNOW TOO PHAT, RAISE YOUR HAND? LOL.

TODAY, A FRIEND OF MINE TALK TO ME WITH HER RANDOM TALK. SUDDENLY SHE ASKED ME, ZAII, KAU PERNAH SUKA RAP OR HIP HOP. AND I STRAIGHTLY SAY, YES I DO. THEN I LAUGH.

THEN WE TALKED ABOUT, SPIT FIRE, ALIENWORKSHOP, WU-TANG, SEAN JOHN, MECCA. HAHA. I LAUGH TILL I CRY.

I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I KNEW HIP HOP VERY WELL WHEN TOO PHAT STARTED TO BECOME FAMOUS RAPPER WITH THE SONG ANAK AYAM OR WA-A-OW. START FROM THERE, I ALWAYS WANTED TO BUY A SNICKERS, BAGGY SHIRT AND EVERYTHING. BECAUSE I FOUND THAT THIS STUFF IS VERY VERY COOL. WHICH IS NOW A DAYS I FIND IT IS SO-NOT-A-COOL STUFF ANYMORE.

ONE THING THAT MAKE ME FEEL VERY STUPID IS, I'D RATHER MEMORIZE ALL OF THE HIP HOP AND RAP SONG RATHER THAN DOING MY HOMEWORK OR STUDYING FOR MY TEST AND EXAMS. HAHA. THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER MADE.

YES I STILL ADMIRE THE HIP HOP FASHION BUT I CAN SEE THAT IS SO NOT FOR ME.

THEN JUST NOW, ME AND JUDEN TALKED AGAIN ABOUT THE SAME THING. AND WE LAUGHED AND WE SAY, BUDUH JUA DULU ATU AH.

LAST TIME, MY ONLY IDOL IS THE ONE AND ONLY LIL' BOW WOW. BUT TOO BAD HE'S NOT LITTLE ANYMORE. LOL. I HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF POSTER OF HIM, TOO PHAT, J.LO, JARULE, ASHANTI, EVERY HIP HOP, AND R&B ARTIST, YOU NAME IT I HAVE IT. IF I FOUND THAT I HAVEN'T GOT THE PICTURE OF THE PERSON, FOR SURE I'LL DOWNLOAD IT. SILLY ME, I'M WASTING MY PRINTER'S INK. =.="

BUT HEY, OLD TIMES ARE COOL. YA KNOW WHAT I'M SAYINNNN.

WHEN I WAS IN MY 8TH GRADE, ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE REALLY BRAVE, THEY HAVE THIS ONE PARTY AND SOME OF THE PARENTS DOESN'T ALLOW THEM TO GO BUT YET THEY STILL WANNA GO. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO? SNEAK OUT FROM THE HOUSE. AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T GO TO THE PARTY. KESIAN. AT THAT TIME, MY PARENTS ARE VERY STRICT. MAYBE THERE'S A GOOD THING BEHIND IT.

WHAT ELSE DID WE DO WHEN KAMI MASIH ANCING. HAHA.

OH YEA, I THOUGHT THAT PLAYING BASKETBALL IS THE COOLEST GAME EVER, BECAUSE WHEN HIP HOP IS ON TOP OF THE ROOF EVERYONE PLAY BASKETBALL. AND ME AND MY FRIENDS ARE WILLING TO PLAY AND WE EVER TOLD OUR PARENTS THAT WE'RE HAVING EXTRA CLASS ON FRIDAY, WHICH IS ACTUALLY INDA. LOL.

9TH GRADE, I MET THIS ONE GUY NAMED JUDEN, I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM CAUSE I THOUGHT HE IS AWESOME. YEA HE IS AWESOME UNTIL NOW. :D LOVE YOU LOVE.

9TH GRADE, ALL I REMEMBER IS SKATE. SKATE AND SKATE. WHEN WE WAS IN OUR 9TH GRADE, JUDEN LOVES TO PLAY SKATE OR ROLLERBLADE. STILL HAVE THOSE BAGGY SHIRTS AND JEANS THAT HE WORE TO MEET ME.

OH MAN CAN I TURN BACK THE TIME? OF COURSE NOT. I WISH. EVERYONE WISH TO TURN BACK THE TIME.

ACTUALLY MY POST IS NOT ABOUT TOO PHAT. ITS ABOUT OUR LIFE THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH BEFORE, LAME BUT ACTUALLY FUNNY. UNCOOL BUT IT IS COOL. DULU TAPINYA AH.

BAH ENOUGH OF HIP HOP.

LOVE,
ZAII
PEACE Y'ALL (WTH?) LOL

2010-02-08T06:18:00.000-08:00

SIGH,

WHERE SHOULD I START, YESTERDAY ME AND JUDEN HAD THIS SERIOUS TALK,LIKE VERY SERIOUS.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIGHER COMMITMENT FOR US. GETTING ENGAGE, AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A TALK BUT HE'S SERIOUS.

I'M PRETTY ANXIOUS WHEN WE WERE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS TALK. I'M EXCITED ABOUT IT. SO WE PLAN THIS THING TO SAVE OUR MONEY, WE HAVE EIGHT MONTHS TO GO. PROBABLY, IF EVERYTHING GO SMOOTHLY.

HIGHER COMMITMENT IS SOMETHING HUGE RESPONSIBILITIES TO ME. LIKE ENORMOUS RESPONSIBILITIES. GIANT? WHAT ELSE? BIG BIG BIG.

I'M MENTALLY PREPARED FOR THIS BUT NOT PHYSICALLY, LIKE FINANCIAL STUFF. LOL

YEA, ALL THIS WHILE I ALWAYS WANT TO SPEND MY MONEY LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW. BUT NOW I HAVE TO THINK TWICE FOR IT. WE NEED TO SAVE OUR MONEY FOR THIS. ENGAGE AND MARRIAGE IS NO NO PLAY STUFF.

OKAY NOW I'M SWEATING LIKE A PIG WHEN I WRITING THIS POST. HA HA.

BUT ONE THING, I'M REALLY HAPPY OF WHAT WE'VE TALKED YESTERDAY.

I CRIED HAPPILY BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP YESTERDAY. LIKE MY MIND IS GOING WHEEE..

AND I THOUGHT THAT ALL THIS WHILE THAT, THIS THING NEVER CROSS HIS MIND AT ALL, BUT I BELIEVE EVERYTHING HAPPENS WITH A REASON.

BUTTERFLIES EVERYWHERE,:D WITH GOD'S WILL, WE'LL GET ENGAGE. WE'RE HUMAN PLAN IS ALL WHAT WE CAN DO.

LOVE,
ZAII

Dream wedding and reality tv show addict

2010-01-29T06:23:00.000-08:00

I JUST FINISHED WATCHING MY ALL TIME FAVORITE TV SHOW. KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS. THE WEDDING PART. I'M LOVING IT. ITS LIKE MY DREAM WEDDING; PURPLE AND ROSES. IT REALLY CATCH MY HEART. ESPECIALLY KHLOE'S DIAMOND RING. :D

BUT I KNOW, DREAMS WON'T COME TRUE. WHO AM I TO DO A GREAT WEDDING JUST LIKE HER. BUT WHEN I WATCH IT, ITS LIKE A FAIRY TALE. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I REALIZE THAT, FAIRY TALE REALLY EXIST THOUGH FOR A DAY.

YEA, I KNOW. DREAMS ARE FREE SO DREAMS ON. SIGH. THINKING BACK OF THIS WHOLE SITUATION, THE ONLY LEFT IS DREAMS. HOPING FOR SOMETHING THAT IS SO IMPOSSIBLE. WHAT WAS I THINKING. SIGH. *INHALE AND EXHALE*

FORGET ABOUT THE DREAM WEDDING.

ITS ABOUT THE KARDASHIANS. I'M IN LOVE WITH THE REALITY TV SHOW. ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY ABOUT IT.

IT IS NOT ACTUALLY ABOUT THE WHOLE KARDASHIANS, ITS HOW THE LIVE THEIR LIVE. A HAPPY FAMILY I GUESS WHICH EVERYONE DREAM ABOUT IT. SIGH.

SERIOUSLY I GET SO JEALOUS WHEN MY FRIENDS SAYS THAT THEY NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH THEIR FAMILY AND EVERYTHING. SIGH. I HAVE NO LIFE. I MEAN I HAVE A LIFE BUT ITS TOO MISERABLE FOR ME. SIGH.

FORGET ABOUT IT. LETS JUST ACCEPT THESE FACT. WHICH I BELIEVE FACT REALLY HURT.

ITS OK

LOVE,
ZAII

2010-01-19T05:25:00.000-08:00

HI

I'M IN MENTALLY PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY STRESSING OUT. I HAVE A FEELING THAT THIS YEAR WILL BE THE BAD YEAR IN MY LIFE THAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT ALL. ITS THE 19TH DAY OF THE YEAR. AND I REALLY DIDN'T FEEL THE JOY THAT WE HAVE.

ON NEW YEARS EVE, JUDEN FAILED TO BE WITH ME. WHICH I BELIEVE THAT ITS THE FIRST SIGN TELLING ME THAT I'LL HAVE A BAD 2010.

OKAY THAT'S THE FIRST. SECOND JUDEN'S CAR HAS BROKE DOWN. I MEAN BOTH OF IT. AND HE HAVE TO SPEND ALMOST ALL OF HIS MONEY TO THE CARS AND I SWEAR IT DOESN'T WORTH IT AT ALL.

THIRD. WHEN I GET MC THEN MY SUPERVISOR TOLD ME THAT SHE'S GOING TO FIND SOMEONE TO REPLACE ME IF I KEEP ON TAKING MY SICK LEAVE. FOR GOD SAKE. WHY WOULD I LIE. I AM SICK AT THAT TIME. IT TOOK ME LIKE A WEEK TO RECOVER. SIGH.

AND NOW 19TH DAY OF THE YEAR. ANOTHER CAR BROKE DOWN. WHEN I PLANNED TO GO FOR VACATION WITH JUDEN EARLY OF THIS FEBRUARY. IT REALLY WENT INSANE AND CHAOTIC.

I FEEL LIKE, I'M IN A CAGE TRYING TO GET SOMEONE'S HELP AND I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING BUT I CAN'T.

I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

MY CHECK LIST:-

1. MUMMY-DEFINITELY NOT RECOMMENDED. SHE'LL KEEP ON BABBLING.
2. MY BF-NOT HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BECAUSE I BELIEVE HE FACED THE SAME PROBLEM TOO.
3. MY FRIENDS-ALSO NOT HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BECAUSE I BELIEVE THEY WON'T UNDERSTAND HOW WAS MY SITUATION RIGHT NOW.
4. MY BLOG- YES. I THINK I MADE A RIGHT CHOICE TO WRITE IN THIS BLOG. SO THAT I FEEL LIKE A RELEASE.

NOW SEE LOVE, I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS. ITS OKAY IF YOU CAN'T COME WITH ME DURING THE VACATION. ITS OKAY FOR ME. I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU. I THINK I JUST WANNA GO ALONE. I NEED TO RELAX MY MIND.

SIGH.

IN THIS SITUATION I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT ME AND HIM ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK. I HAVE A FEELINGS THAT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A LONG-LONG REST. WHICH I'M REALLY SCARED OF IT.

I BLAME MY SELF IN THIS SITUATION. HE'S THE ONE WHO SEND ME AND FETCH ME TO WORK WITH HIS CAR. SO I FEEL GUILTY FOR IT. AND I THINK I AM THE PERSON WHO SHOULD RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF THESE.

THIS IS THE FACT THAT I SHOULD FACE. WHICH FACT DOES REALLY HURT ME SO BADLY.

I JUST CAN'T GO THROUGH ALL OF THESE.

EVERYTIME I SEE THE FAMILY I KEPT ON BLAMING ON MY SELF. AND I ALWAYS ASK MY SELF WHY CAN'T I JUST TRY NOT TO MEET HIM FOR A DAY. IF OTHERS CAN WHY NOT US. SIGH.

I THINK I'M GOING TO MAKE A WISHLIST FOR 2010:-

1. NEW CAR
2. DRIVING LICENSE
3. VACATION*
4. A NEW JOB
5. TO COMPLETE MY STUDY
6. BUSINESS (NOT THIS YEAR)
7. TRYING TO BE A HARDWORK GIRL. (I AM LAZY)
8. THINK HOW TO SAVE MONEY.
9. RINGS.
10. HELP MUMMY WITH HER CREDIT CARD DEBT
11. EVERYTHING.

I AM WILLING TO WORK ON MY WISH LIST. LETS SEE IF ITS WORKING.

I PROMISE I'LL MAKE A LIFE MAP OR SOMETHING WHICH I'VE MADE ONE WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. WHICH I BELIEVE THAT SOME OF IT REALLY WORK. HOPEFULLY.

I TYPE TOO MUCH.

SIGH

GOOD NIGHT

LOVE,
ZAII

2009-12-19T13:39:00.000-08:00

IT'S 5.41AM AND I HAVEN'T SLEEP YET. I DON'T KNOW WHY AND BETTER DON'T ASK ME WHY BECAUSE I AM CLUELESS RIGHT NOW. :D

TO BE HONEST DEEPLY IN MY HEART. I AM HAPPY WHERE I AM NOW AND I AM HAPPY THAT I FEEL VERY SAFE AND SECURE. I DON'T WANT ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO BOTHER US AT THE MOMENT.WE ARE LIVING OUR LIFE PEACEFULLY WITH NO ONE BOTHER US ANYMORE. THOUGH WE WERE LIKE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ISLAND WHERE NO ONE HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE IS IT. I MEAN WE HAVE NO RELATIVES TO DEPEND ON.

EVER SINCE THE TRAGEDY, YES I AGREE I FEEL LIKE A LONER IN THIS WORLD. BUT WHEN I THINK TWICE, WE DON'T DIE TOGETHER. THEY WON'T SAVE ME FROM EVERY SINS THAT I MADE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I AM VERY HAPPY WITH MUMMY, SIBLINGS, BF AND FRIENDS. THAT'S IT NO ONE ELSE. I DON'T WANT SOME OF THE PERSON GET BACK INTO MY LIFE THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. PARANOID THAT IS.

I JUST WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WITH THEM NOT THE OTHERS. LIVING LIFE WITH THE OTHERS, ONLY LEFT WITH HATRED. THE SCARS WILL ALWAYS REMAIN DEEP DOWN IN MY SOUL WHICH NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND.

I WON'T SIMPLY FORGET WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE. THEY TRYING TO RUIN OUR LIFE. BUT WE STAND STILL BECAUSE I KNOW LOVE BRING US STAND TOGETHER AS ONE.

STUBBORN I AM. I DON'T DO FORGIVE AND FORGET TO THOSE WHO HURT ME AND MUMMY REALLY BAD. TO THOSE WHO HURT MY BOYFRIEND'S FEELINGS.

I CAN SEE IN HIS EYES THAT HE REALLY WANTED TO SAVE ME. BUT "YOU" CAME AND SAID THIS AND THAT TO HIM. AND HE FELT GUILTY AND LEFT OUT ALSO COULDN'T FORGET WHAT YOU'VE SAID TO HIM. FOR THE SECOND THOUGHT, WE ARE THE ONE WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED. NOT YOU.

SORRY I AM AN EVIL. I TRIED TO FORGIVE AND FORGET WHAT HAPPENS IN PAST BUT I CAN'T. IF SOMETHING REMIND ME OF YOU GUYS I'M MAD LIKE MY BRAIN ARE STUCK AND ALL I THINK IS I WANTED TO KILL YOU MY PIMP LITTLE COUSIN. SERIOUSLY. AND EVERY TIME WHEN I THINK OF IT, IT ALWAYS POPPED OUT ON MY MIND AND SAYS "HOW I WISH MURDERING IS LEGAL" AND HOW I WISH I HAVE A LICENSE TO KILL SOMEONE.

MUMMY FELT THE SAME WAY TOO. SHE REALLY FEELS LEFT OUT. WE TRY TO BE STRONG AND BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS, MUMMY IS SUFFERING AND TAKING TOO MANY SLEEPING PILLS AND I CAN'T FORGET HOW SHE SUFFERED AND CRYING ALL NIGHT LONG.

TWO OF THE REASONS WHY I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS TO BE IN MY LIFE ANYMORE. I KNOW REVENGE DOES SOLVE NOTHING. I WON'T TAKE ANY REVENGE. DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH. LETS JUST KARMA HANDLE IT.

I AM VERY HAPPY WHERE I AM NOW. I DON'T WANT THE SO CALLED HAPPY FAMILY ANYMORE. I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. I SOUNDS REALLY MEAN. I KNOW.

BUT I STILL CANNOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THEY TEARING OUR HEART INTO PIECES. NOT TRYING TO BE AN ARROGANT. BUT LOOK AT US. WE CAN STAND TOGETHER WITH OUR TWO FEET ON THE GROUND WITHOUT THEM. AND I KNOW OUR LOVE WILL ALWAYS STAY.

I LOVE YOU MUMMY AND YOU SY

SORRY I CAN'T BE A GOOD GIRL ANYMORE. I HAD ENOUGH WITH EVERYTHING THAT I WENT THROUGH ALL THIS TIME. REALLY I AM SORRY.

LOVE,
ZAII

2009-11-25T03:46:00.000-08:00

THIS WOMAN(MYSELF) WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE YOU. WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU. A VERY MUCH THANK TO YOU YOURSELF,INDEED. YOU MADE ME REALIZE THAT I AM THAT KIND OF PERSON AND I AM REALLY AGREE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE SAID TO ME.

YOU MADE ME CRY THIS MORNING AND YEA I SUDDENLY REALIZE THAT WHAT YOU SAID WAS TOTALLY RIGHT.

NOW I WANNA SAY THIS TO YOU. ITS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

I THANK YOU FOR BEING NICE TO ME, I THANK FOR YOUR SACRIFICE EACH AND EVERYDAY TO ME. I THANK TO YOU WHO MADE MY LIFE WONDERFUL. I THANK TO YOU WHO ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME.

BUT WHAT YOU'VE SAID TO ME AS IF THAT YOU'RE LOOKING DOWN ON ME. I KNOW I HAVE NOTHING. I DON'T HAVE CARS I DON'T HAVE ANY LICENSE. MAYBE I DESERVE OF WHAT YOU'VE SAID TO ME. HOW PITY THAT I GOT NOTHING IN THIS WORLD.

YOU MADE ME REALIZE THAT I SHOULD GO FAR-FAR AWAY FROM YOU. WE ARE WORLD APART. HOW IDIOT I AM WHO DIDN'T THINK THIS AT THE VERY FIRST.

FOR THE SECOND THOUGHT, I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A BREAK. YOU GO WITH YOUR OWN AND I'LL GO WITH MINE. WHO KNOWS THAT LIFE'S WAY MUCH-MUCH BETTER WHEN WE ARE NOT TOGETHER. SOUNDS SAD BUT HEY ITS WHAT WE HAVE TO FACE. I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO READ THIS.

I JUST WANNA LET YOU FREE. AND HOPING THAT I'M MAKING A RIGHT DECISION. ITS BEEN SIX YEARS AND THIS IS THE ONLY TIME THAT I FELT LIKE MY HEART IS REALLY BROKEN AND BLEEDING AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HEAL IT. WHO KNOWS THAT MAYBE YOU COULD FIND SOMEONE WAY MUCH BETTER THAN ME.

BUT ONE THING THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
I APPRECIATE OF WHAT YOU DID TO ME
AND I'M SORRY CAUSE I MADE YOU FEEL UNAPPRECIATED.

LOVE,
ZAII-THE BROKEN HEARTED

MY 1ST ANNIVERSARY

2009-11-03T14:01:00.000-08:00

MORNING, ITS 6.02AM,04.11.09

SUPPOSE I POST THIS YESTERDAY BUT THEN I FORGOT I GUESS I THINK TOO MUCH FOR THE DINNER :D

YEA YESTERDAY 03.11.09 ITS EXACTLY ONE YEAR I'M WORKING WITH BBB SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

THE HARD TIMES THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH. BEEN STRESSING FOR THE WHOLE YEAR BUT I DO ENJOY MY JOB AND I'M LOVING IT THOUGH ITS TIRING. KRAJA MANA JUA INDA STRESS. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG. :D

HONESTLY I LOVE BBB SO MUCH. BUT THE PEOPLE AROUND THERE ITS DRIVING ME INSANE. SIGH.

BAH ONCE AGAIN HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :D

LOVE,
ZAII

"THIS IS IT"

2009-11-03T06:13:00.000-08:00

HI PEOPLE.

ANOTHER BBRC DINNER.

THEMES :THIS IS IT. BLACK/&WHITE. AND THAT'S FREAKING OUT. SERIOUSLY I DO. WHAT TO WEAR? MY HAIR? MY SHOES? ERR YOU KNOW I'M A TYPE OF GIRL WHO DIDN'T HAVE THOSE THINGS LIKE ACCESSORIES STUFF THE DINNER DRESS. I'M JUST A SIMPLE GIRL AREN'T I? :D

ME AND MY COLLEAGUE KEEP WHINING ALL DAY LONG THINKING OF WHAT TO WEAR. OUR FIRST THOUGHT WAS "HOW IF WE OVERDRESS?" "HOW IF WE'RE TOO SIMPLE?" WHAT IF WE LOOK UGLY? AH CRAP.

KEEP SEARCHING FOR MY OUTFIT BUT I FAILED. AS IN I HAVEN'T GO ANYWHERE TO SEARCH THE BAJU. PLUS I HAVE TO YEA A BIT SAVING. :D BANAR KAH TU? :D

ONE THING FOR SURE I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE SOME FUN WITH MY FRIENDS NOT TALKING ABOUT THE DANCE BUT THE NIGHT THAT WE WILL SPEND INSTEAD.

BUT ONE THING THAT ALWAYS MAKIN' ME A BIT RELUCTANT IS ABOUT MY LOVE ONE. ITS SATURDAY NIGHT WHICH I SUPPOSE TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HIM. SIGH. SORRY SY THAT I COULDN'T BE WITH YOU. :s BUT ONE THING FOR SURE THAT NIGHT WILL BE YOUR BACHELOR NIGHT WHICH YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS WITHOUT ME. :D

P/S: I LOVE YOU BABY :D

GOODNIGHT.

LOVE,
ZAII.

6 and a half years

2009-11-01T02:52:00.000-08:00

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY HAPPY 78TH MONTH MONTHSARY TO US WHICH EQUAL TO 6 AND A HALF YEARS <3<3. I AM SO GLAD THAT I FOUND YOU TO BE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND YOU WERE ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT.

WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THE GOOD AND BAD TIMES TOGETHER. YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME HAPPY AND SMILE. YOU NEVER CARE HOW STUPID DO I LOOK AS LONG AS I KEEP THE SMILE ON MY FACE. YOU DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER SAY SOMETHING BEHIND OUR BACK AS LONG AS WE ARE HAPPY TOGETHER.

I LOVE YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS DO CAUSE YOU ARE THE KEY TO MY HEART :D

TILL DEATH DO US APART, HOPEFULLY.

XOXO, LOVE,
ZAII

IN LOVING MEMORY OF BABY RARA

2009-10-21T04:02:00.000-07:00

HMM.. THOUGH BABY RARA IS ONLY A KITTEN BUT SHE'S THE LOVABLE CAT OF ALL. SIGH. THOUGH SHE CAN'T WALK BUT SHE MANAGE TO MELT OUR HEART. RARA WEAR DIAPERS CAUSE SHE CAN'T DIGEST PROPERLY. HOPING TO KEEP HER LONGER BUT WE FAILED. I AM VERY SAD BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO SHOW. I HAVE A FEELING BAH.

MUMY AND ADIK2 CRIED. THEIR EYES WAS SWOLLEN. I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE THEM CRYING. I TRY TO TAHAN. WELL I AM A BIT EGO. LETS JUST SAY A HUGE-HUGE EGO. MY HOME FEEL SO SUNYI. REALLY. LIKE SERIOUSLY SUNYI. MUMMY GOT THE MIGRAINE ALSO.

FEEL SO SORRY FOR RARA THAT WE COULDN'T JAGA HER. I REGRET THAT I ALWAYS NEGLECT HER WITHOUT KNOWING THAT SHE'S GOING TOO SOON. SHE'S LIKE A SISTER TO US. SHE'S REALLY2 ADORABLE. OKAY I FEEL LIKE CRYING NOW.

I COULD NEVER FIND ANOTHER KITTEN JUST LIKE HER.
I KNOW I'M A BIT OVERREACTING AND A BIT EXAGGERATING BECAUSE SHE'S JUST A CAT. BUT FOR ME SHE'S NOT ONLY A CAT SHE'S SOMETHING SPECIAL TO US. MUMMY LOOKED AFTER HER, SHE'S THE BABY IN THE FAMILY. AND SO CALLED A SPOILED BRAT :D

AND I WONDER WHY LAST FEW DAYS THE TWO SIBLINGS OF RARA ALSO DIED. THAT WAS SO WEIRD. ITS LIKE SOMETHING HAPPENED IN A PURPOSE WAY. ERR I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN. BUT I DON'T WANT TO THINK TOO MUCH ON IT.
ITS TIME TO LEARN TO LET GO. THAT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.

I'M TOO EMOTIONAL FOR THIS.

ITS LIKE YOU KNOW, I AGREE WITH MUMMY ITS BETTER THAT YOU LOOK AFTER THE PET, THEY'LL UNDERSTAND YOU SO MUCH, YOU PAMPER THEM THEY WON'T GET YOU KNOW "NAIK KEPALA", THEY WILL SHOW YOU SOME LOVE INSTEAD.TO LOOK AFTER THE HUMAN AND PAMPER THEM ESPECIALLY LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE THOUGH WE DIDN'T LIVE IN THE SAME ROOF BEFORE ITS DRIVING YOU INSANE. THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE YOU. BUT THEY STAB YOU FROM BEHIND INSTEAD. BUT DIFFERENT PERSON DIFFERENT THINGS WILL HAPPENED

THAT'S WHAT MUMMY TOLD ME BEFORE. SO SHE HAD ENOUGH FOR IT. I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS WOMAN. OH WHO ELSE. MY RECENT POST IS ALWAYS ABOUT THIS WOMAN WHOM I SHOULDN'T MENTION THE NAME TO THIS BLOG. BUT I ALREADY MENTION PLG.

FOR ME SHE'S TOO MUCH. WHO IS SHE TO BREAK US APART. YOU'RE NOT OUR BLOOD WHO ARE YOU KAN? NOTHING BAH. AFTER ALL YOU DID TO US, AND WHEN SOMETHING REMINDS ME ON YOU IT MAKES ME GO JIJIK, YOU LOOK SO DISGUSTING TO ME. DO YOU KNOW THAT. HUH.

OH CRAP PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HER. SHE'S A DISGUSTING WOMAN THAT I'VE EVER SEEN. CHEAPER THAN A SLUT CHEAPER THAN A WHORE. THAT'S WHAT SHE ARE. I SALUTE MUCH TO THE SLUT. THEY STILL NEED A RESPECT. BUT TO HER. I DON'T THINK SO.

YOU KNOW I AM THE ONE WHO ARE REALLY STUBBORN. TO ASK APOLOGIZE FROM YOU OH SORRY. I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT THAT. IF YOU WANT TO DIE, YOU GO AND DIE. YOU DON'T SHOW US SOME RESPECT SO DO I.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE NEITHER DO I.

ENUF TALKING ABOUT HER.

I'M SIGNING OUT NOW

LOVE,
ZAII
11.32PM, 21/10

P/S: JUDEN, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY TO MY <3

2009-10-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

JUST WANNA SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY <3.>

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS THING THAT YOU GAVE ME? I THINK IT WAS 4YEARS AGO. HOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH..

YOU'RE VERY SPECIAL TO ME.

MWAH. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN. I LOVE YOU.

YOU ARE THE SOUL TO MY BODY
YOU GIVE ME SPIRIT TO LIVE
YOU GIVE ME AIR TO BREATHE

OH CRAP! I'M NOT POETIC AT ALL. GEESSH..

LOVE,
ZAII
12.47AM, 20/10/09

A LIL BIT OF LOVE

2009-10-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

ITS FEW HOURS TO GO TO MY SAYANG'S BIRTHDAY :P HE'S 22ND YEARS OLD. A YEAR OLDER. SIGH. YEA AND STILL WE'RE HANGING IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.BUT ITS OKAY. WE'LL JUST GO WITH THE FLOW. SPEAKING A LIL BIT OF LOVE.

I SPOKE TO MY COLLEAGUE, JIDAH. IT STARTED WHEN I ALWAYS STARRED AT ME AND JUDEN'S PHOTO. I KEEP ON KISSING ON IT AND SAYS I MISS HIM SO MUCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THEN SHE SAID HOW COME YOU CAN MISS HIM WHEN YOU JUST MEET HIM A WHILE AGO. I SAID MAYBE ITS WHAT WE CALLED LOVE.

SHE SAYS SHE'S NEVER BEEN IN THIS SO CALLED "IN LOVE" SITUATION BEFORE. YEAH MAYBE SHE'S BEEN IN THE RELATIONSHIP. BUT MISSING SOMEONE SPECIAL EVEN A MINUTE, SHE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE, SHE CONFESSED ERR. THAT'S KINDA WEIRD. SHE ALWAYS ASK TO ME DOES TRUE LOVE EXIST OR NOT? I DEFINITELY ANSWER YES. I AGREE TRUE LOVE DOES EXIST BUT IT DOES NOT LAST FOREVER. I MEAN YEA NOTHING LAST FOREVER I REALLY BELIEVE IN THOSE. THIS WORLD ALSO INDA LAST FOREVER. AS GOD PROMISED US. T.T

YEA I'M GETTING SO EMO. ERR WHY WAS THAT. ITS JUST I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY CERTAIN PPL INDA TRUST IN LOVE. MAYBE SOMEHOW. THEY'LL KNOW.

P/S: SY, I WANT YOU. I NEED YOU.

LOVE,
ZAII,
@23.12PM 19/10/09

THE POSTPONED POST :P

2009-10-14T07:10:00.000-07:00

SIGH. SITTING HERE ALL ALONE IN THIS BORING ROOM. PFFT. WHAT SHOULD I DO. WORKS GET SO HECTIC. SERIOUSLY THOUGH ITS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MONTH BUT. IDK WHY. GUESS I'M BORED WITH WORKING SUDAH. BUT WHAT TO DO. HAVE TO WORK FOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE HUH.

CAN I SKIP THE TIME? WISH I HAVE THE "CLICK" REMOTE SO THAT I CAN CONTROL MY UNIVERSE. LOL. FEEL LIKE WANT TO SKIP THIS TIME. I WANNA SEE MY FUTURE. AS IF~~~ IF ONLY DPT BNR TAH..

WELL I'M TOTALLY BLANK RIGHT NOW. SIGH. AH ANYWAYS TODAY IS THE THIRD DAY ME AND JUDEN "MEMULAKAN HIDUP YG SEHAT" BUT STILL YA SMOKING. PFFT. SO DO I.. =.=''

ERR SPEAKING OF SEMOKING:D. I WONDER WHY AH NOWADAYS THE TEENAGE AND SOME OF THE OTHERS, IF THEY SMOKE, JUST FOR FUN. I MEAN THEY THOUGHT THEY WAS LIKE SO COOL WHICH IS SO NOT. IT'S TOTALLY PATHETIC. I KNOW I DO SMOKE ALSO BUT I'M NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON WHO TRY TO ATTRACT PPL AND TRYING TO TELL THE OTHERS "HI GUYS AKU BESIGUP" GO TO HELL. AKU ROKOK JUST FOR MY OWN SELF. NOTHING MUCH. SO I'M TRYING TO CORRECT YOU GUYS WHO THOUGHT THAT AKU SIGUP JUST FOR AN ATTENTION. ERR I'M NOT AN ATTENTION SEEKER ANYWAYS.

BACK IN 2008. I REMEMBER I WENT SMOKING DI TANGGA NETCOM, AS USUAL AFTER PLAY CS THEN WE ROKOK. I BRING THIS BITCHFROMNOWHERETOBESEEN WHICH I TOTALLY REGRET. I SMOKE LAH. THEN SHE'S STARRING AT ME AND SAYS EH DAH ASAP MU KLUAR DARI IDUNG. GOD DAMN IT. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED AT THAT TIME. I MEAN C'MON MAN AKU BUKAN MCM KAU.. AKU ROKOK FOR LIFE NOT TRYING TO TELL THE OTHERS "OH I'M COOL BECAUSE I SMOKE" SORRY. TO THOSE WHO SMOKE JUST FOR THIS PIECE OF CRAP YOU BETTER QUIT YOU JUST WASTE YOUR FUCKING MONEY TO BUY CIGAR AND ITS NOT WORTH IT AT ALL. SORRY I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN. OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE THE WORLD. YOU GOT PLENTY TIMES TO DO SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS.

AND I REMEMBER BACK IN THE FIRST DAY OF RAYA. WITH ALL HER HEART AND SAY IT LOUDLY AND PROUDLY AKU MAU SIGUP EH.. ERR.. THAT SO NOT COOL BIATCH. YOU GO TO HELL. YOU ARE TOTALLY INSANE.

AKU MENTAL.

BAH BAH I'M OFF TO TUTONG NOW.

I'LL SAMBUNG AGAIN LATER.

SIGNING OUT AT 6.36PM.ZAII

WELL SUPPOSE I POST THIS FEW DAYS AGO. HAHA. I GOT NO TIME. ADA PLG. ITS JUST I FORGET. SIGH.

ITS 2.25AM 18/10/09 JUST GOT BACK HOME FROM JUDEN'S PLACE. CELEBRATING LAST RAYA. AWESOME, BUT I KEEP ON WHINING. IDK WHY.
MAYBE I'M TOO EXHAUSTED. HAVEN'T GOT ENOUGH SLEEP THESE FEW DAYS. SIGH.

ERR, I WAS THINKING OF JOINING A BOXING CLASS. DIMANA ADA? TRYING TO BE A BIT DEFENSIVE HUH. I'M SERIOUS BABY. REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. I HEARD FITNESS ZONE HAS THE CLASS FOR "BODY COMBAT". SOUNDS SO INTERESTING. BET IT IS FUN. I WANNA TRY.

IM OFF NOW.

AGAIN, SUPPOSE I POST THIS LAST NIGHT BUT. ERR. THE CONNECTION WAS DOWN. SO YEA.. I HAVE TO POSTPONED AGAIN. HEHE.

P/S: BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. XOXO

LOVE,
ZAII
18/10 20.45PM

2009-09-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

HI AGAIN,

SMILE AND CHEER UP FOR YOUR DAY EVEN THOUGH THE OTHERS SAYS SOMETHING BAD TO YOU. RELAX. TAKE A DEEP BREATHE. SOMETIMES THIS KIND OF THINGS WE SHOULD LET IT GO.

THAT'S THE THING THAT I CANNOT HANDLE WHEN MY OWN BLOOD SAYS SOMETHING BAD TO ME. I JUST CANNOT HANDLE IT. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PATIENCE AND THINK TWICE BEFORE DO ANYTHING.

WHEN THIS HAD HAPPENED TO ME, I'M TRYING MY BEST TO PROTECT MY FAMILY. SIGH. BUT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED THEY TRY TO SEPARATE US.

SOMEDAY AND SOMEHOW I PROMISE I WILL MAKE MY MOM PROUD. I'M TIRED WITH ALL THE BULLIES AND BEING INSULTED. I'M REALLY TIRED OF IT.

I WISH I CAN BRING MUMMY AND SIBLINGS TO SOMEWHERE ELSE NOT IN BRUNEI. SO THAT WE CAN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER JUST LIKE THE FAIRY TALE DID, THOUGH FAIRYTALE DOESN'T REALLY EXIST IN THIS WORLD. BUT WHY NOT WE TRY TO BE ONE. AT LEAST NO ONE CAN DISTURB US LIKE THE BITCH DID.

TO SEE HER SMILE IS LIKE A RELEASE TO ME. BUT TO SEE HER CRY IS LIKE A CHALLENGE. NO BODY CAN MESS WITH MY MUM. I SAID NO BODY.
TO YOU BIBIE BITCH I JUST GO WITH THE FLOW AH.. LET'S SEE SIAPA YG SAKIT NANTI. ANE KAMI SUSAH ONE DAY YOU WILL KNOW. JUST WAIT AND SEE SAJA. KARMA SELALU ADA. JUST REMEMBER KARMA WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU. WHEN THE TIME HAS COME I JUST SMILE FOR YOU. HEHS.

LOVE,
ZAII

i talk crap cause its bullshit

2009-09-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

SOMETHING HAS BOTHERING ME EVER SINCE THE INCIDENT THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME LAST FEW DAYS. I WONDER WHY, WHY PEOPLE SUKA INTERRUPT OTHER PPL PUNYA HAL WHEN THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS.

I DON'T GET IT. I KNOW NO BODY'S PERFECT BUT HEY WAKE UP PEOPLE U GOT PRETTY FUCKING THINGS TO DO OTHER THAN MIND OTHER PPL'S BUSINESSES. SHUT THE HELL OUT OF IT. PUH~~LEASE!

I WONDER WHY HUMAN BEINGS NOWADAYS ACTING LIKE ANIMALS WHILE THE ANIMAL CAN LOVE THEIR OWN FAMILY RATHER THAN HUMAN.

ADA LAGI:

SOMETIMES WHEN SOMEONE MADE A MISTAKES THEY HARDLY WANTS TO ADMIT BUT THEY ACCUSED OTHERS BY MAKING UP STORIES SO THAT THE OTHERS FEELS THE SAME WAY LIKE THEY DOES AND THE OTHERS WILL BLAME URG ATU MATI2AN WHEN THIS PERSON DGR ON ONE SIDE SAJA. SO IT CALLS FAIR AND FUCKING SQUARE WHICH IS SO NOT ACCEPTABLE. CIBAI.

ONE MORE THING. I REALLY HATE IT. BAH CAKAP MELAYU KU DULU. YA MENGUMPAT URG ANE YA BUAT TANI BANCI URG YG DI UMPATNYA ATU.BUT THEN UDAH KELAIE SAMA TANI URG YG DI UMPAT NYA ANE JUA DI AGA NYA.. I MEAN COME ON PPL NADA PRINSIP KAH. ITS SOUNDS LIKE YA MELUDAH TAPI DIGILATNYA BALIK. WTF?

I KNOW WHO I AM. I CANNOT JUDGE ANYONE ELSE BUT ME. BUT THIS THING HAS BOTHERING ME BAH.

ADA LAGI; SIGH. BELAGAK KUAT WHEN HE'S SO NOT BERANI. THIS IS DAMN CALI. POCKET KNIFE, SAMURAI HAHA. COME ON BOY, BARU LIAT KWNNYA KANA KERAJAKAN UDAH PUCAT KAJAR2 ALUM LAGI EHEM.. ONE BY ONE. I KNOW I SOUNDS CHILDISH. BUT THIS KIND OF PEOPLE MAKE ME REALIZE THAT DURNG ANE CAKAP SAJA BUT END UP PFFT I DON'T WANNA SAY LAGI.

*KNOCK THE WOOD*

REGARDS,
ZAII

I REALIZE

2009-09-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

SOMETIMES IN THIS WORLD, WE SHOULDN'T HELP THE OTHERS WHEN WE CANNOT HELP OURSELVES. I SMIRKED. EVERY SINGLE WORDS THAT CAME OUT FROM YOUR MOUTH. I STOP AND THINK AND REALIZE HOW STUPID YOU ARE.

I KNOW YOU VERY MUCH. WHAT EVER YOU DO WILL ALWAYS LEAD YOU TO REGRETS. :D REMEMBER MY FIRST IMPRESSION TO YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A SMIRK. I ONLY CAN SMILE. NOTHING MUCH I CAN DO. BECAUSE I AIN'T GOING TO HELP ANYONE LIKE YOU.

SEKADAR BAH GNYA EMPAT RATUS AH. WTF? MCM KU INDA TAU KAU ATU KAN KAU APA 400 ATU. FUCK YOU DAMN BIATCH.

YOU ACCUSED US

ITS OK.

THIS WORLD WILL ALWAYS KEEP MOVING.

LETS JUST SAY KARMA!!

SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU BRAIN. MAYBE ITS NOT FUNCTIONING AT ALL SINCE YOU'RE STUPID LIKE ASSHOLE.

GOD, WHY ARE THESE KIND OF PPL WERE BORN IN THIS WORLD. ALL THEY KNOW IS EXAGGERATE THINGS AND BLAME PPL FOR THEIR OWN FAULT.

SIGH.

MAYBE TODAY WE LOSE. MAYBE TODAY WE'RE BEING INSULTED. SOON I'LL TELL YOU. YOU'LL REGRET.

i'm being random because i am a random person:D

2009-08-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

hi. happy ramadhan people. well i know i'm a bit late and not updated. its been awhile since i've been blogging i guess. well same shit and same reasons. i'm a busy woman. haha. same old same old.

oh yes, my lappy just recovered last week. she's admitted to the hospital last few weeks because the motherboard was overheat and i can't switch it on i only can see black screen. luckily still ada warranty. if not mampus saya. sorry ling-ling cause inda jaga you. :D
lol.

there's lot of things happened in my life. sad, happy, depressed, exhausted etc.
well that's what we call life.

anyways, i hate people who are being racist, a bit political and the type of people who don't want to give a hand to others like siting there all day long watching ppl strangling with the works all they do is pushing us to do this and that. but what did they do? Nothing.Nil. Well i know who i am. i don't have rights to judge the others. it's just that it's not fair. sigh.

i'm just being random here.

i got nothing to do all day long just lying flat on my bed. i'm sick i got flu and high fever. the doctor gave me 3days of MC. i was very happy but at the same time i also feel guilty, i was thinking what will happen in the office when there are not enough ppl. i mean man, its the end of month. there's lot of things to do and its puasa. sigh.
bah bah stop talking about work. i had enough.

planning for sungkai out with friends, family and the love one. because kan~~TOMORROW payday hehe.

oh yea. we went to bridex last two weeks it was totally awesome and it was fun though we didn't get the chance to see the show. but its okay. I'm having fun with my friends though.

oh oh and also to all my very old friends kidah and the others i miss you. sigh. seriously from the bottom of my heart.

my birthday is coming up soon babeyyyy haha. its one more month to go plg. still i'm pretty excited about it. i wanna have some birthday bash pls daling pls. but due to your work condition its makin' me a bit down. sigh.

and and and i miss beach so much. that's the only place where i can release the stress out of my head. i miss one billionth barrel. soon i'll come baby..bh enough.
i'm off to bed now. and i remember this phrase jst now
"much love to give much pain to keep"

love,
zaii

i fucked up

2009-07-12T07:42:00.000-07:00

sighs. world, all this while i've been selfish all the time that i didn't think of what all my siblings want all this while even-though i can afford enough to get the things for them. how do i start this post ah? i'm extremely speechless today banar tah.

today, my dad came to my house and i was working at that time doing the drp testing something about our system blah blah blah don't want to elaborate about that. back to the point. then bibie text me that my dad came and bring my adik go jln2. thats my first mistake. then i went so panic afraid that he will do violence lagi. as an eldest in the family i am very concern about that. sigh. then my mum asked me to look after them. then yayai my sister update with me where are they. she text me and said they're in yys. i called syg and he went straight away to my office. sigh. we rushed to yys afraid that my dad bring them to meet the so called "step mother" and i don't want that to happen. *knock the wood*

then we arrived at yys. then i clashed with my dad and i saw my adik. they kena balikan all the stuff that they've been wanting all this while. sigh. i saw them safe sudah so i don't worried much lagi. we went home straightly then they bring all the stuff and show it off to us. they was like happy. until mumy says " if kamu mau sama bbh kamu, i don't mind, i know i can't afford to buy all the stuff, mumy inda mampu bari kamu harta dunia, but akhirat i can afford, i'd do anything for that " i was very sad and speechless and i feel like crying out loud until now. i'm the eldest sister and i'm working for almost nine months and obviously i can afford to buy them all this kind of things that they should have. but aku hilaf, liat duit tarus bali brg for my self and inda think about my siblings at all. sighs. and my first mistake is aku jarang bwa durang jln. sigh how silly i am.

i realize that i've been selfish all this time, i ever felt this before, i want this and that but i kesian mumy because she carries so much of burden already, daddy leave us in vain, we don't have anything, the car kana tarik, life wasn't that easy bah. all we got is only ppl around us stabbing at us, insulted us. that was the hard part of my life.

sigh, i learnt my mistake, and i'm trying hard not to do the same mistake lagi. sorry mumy,
i love you so much.

with love,
zaii

its been awhile

2009-07-11T09:03:00.000-07:00

its been awhile i didn't spend time with my love one. sigh. but today the hell's over. :D naahhh.. today we really had a great time together. that's what i called the so called "spend time". he brought me to Seria arah one billionth barrel because I've been wanting to go there since few months ago. sigh. if we planned to go there, there will always be something bothering us and ada jua yang buat aku a bit paranoid sigh. but today was a blast. well i'm a bit exaggerating pulang. hehe. but i tell you love. i really had a great time with you. especially arah pantai. its not that we didn't spend our time together that much. but ever since we have our own direction like u've been working and me too, our time was like a bit packed. especially during the end of month everybody was enjoying their life if payday punya season but for me its totally a hell. :S hopefully this month will not busier as last month especially the time when i just finished our work at 11.30pm and that makes me crazy like all the time thinking of you. i love you so much. thanks for everything. mmwah. hugs
xoxo

with love,
zaii

2009-06-21T18:52:00.000-07:00

morning dunia,

i'm not feelin' so well today. all my muscle lamah mcm babi. sigh. tiring. i didn't go to work. guilty ku rah my colleague. i'm extremely weak. i hardly can stretch my body. i need some exercise. banar.

sigh. i have a nightmare smlm. sigh. and that's also one of the reason why aku got a headache i feel like kana bump arah batu. *exaggerate* i cried this morning. halfway to my office. i really can't stand bh. i'm totally weak. sigh.

baby, i miss you so much.. much.. much.. sigh...

oh and btw i miss our billabong cap yg gugur di laut ahh... its over 5years udah. sampai tia ajatnya ilang. sigh

i miss you love.

mwahugs

love,
zaii

first time ever experience

2009-06-21T07:29:00.000-07:00

hiii.. today we went to empire hotel for the family fun day at the west beach and it is also the first time i'm riding the banana boat and the flying fish. the banana boat was extremely cool.. well ilang jua all the depress and mental space atu.. hehe. except for the flying fish. my sister fell down from the boat i was panicked at that time.. luckily my hero :D thanks sayang for helping her.. aku panicked bah then i also trajun.. luckily i can swim. yayai bah inda pandai.. and i was all alone in the middle of the sea.. and i can see the island yg dakat empire atu.. ampir sudah..

and that reminds me of dulu masa first time ke pntai empire.. i always wanted to go there. nah sampai tia ajatnya.. it was scary you know. and thats makin' me depressed and a bit of trauma.. ada scratch on my left knee. sigh..

i love you baby..

i can't imagine tadi if nada you. sigh

love,
zaii

2009-06-19T08:43:00.000-07:00

sigh,

mentally emotional..

went home a bit late from the office because there's something wrong with the tt swift and one of the sc was angry with me. how can i know anything about swift. and she was trying to say that aku inda pandai ajar my junior wth?? and she said that might be my officer is the one who didn't know how to authorize that he didnt see the beneficiary address.. buduh ah.. how silly she is.. my officer wont authorize if there is no address. sigh. mental ku dibuatnya.

distracted ku mliat mukanya.. i'm extremely annoyed by her.. who the hell she think she is...

sorry i'm a bit rough.

pokoknya gue stress banget..

zizie i miss you...

yen also i miss you..

i feel like quiting sudah.

mcm surrender ku..

but if i think twice y would i quit just because of her.

i have a nice officer though sometimes he makes me upset

i have a good senior officer and supervisor sigh..

racist are what they are.

awu melayu ta buduh...

i'm tired, tired with all of this bullshit.

and one more thing she said that i didn't guide my junior. nah see how silly she is.. i was busy all the time recording and reporting, do all the transactions and i did ask her is she okay or not.. but she say it was okay.. so i ws expecting that everything is fine. and i never heard any problems with the tt that she's been doing all this while.

sigh...

2009-05-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

hi there, i miss my bf so much right now, :S just got back home frm hospital cause my grandfather sakit. sigh. anyways last 2weeks is our anniversary. happy belated 6th anniversary to us :D since i'm working and had overtime so we celebrate it belated. but sampat plg had a dinner date with him on the day itself. the next day we check in at the empire hotel WITH bibie. don't get it wrong people. bukan kami dua saja check in. and me and him have a dinner date again di pantai but too bad i didn't take the picture masa kami dinner cause i thought my camera tinggal diroom. after the dinner and otw back to our room baru ku sadar that camera is in my handbag. C***i hehe:D it was the happiest moment in my life. and he bought me a guess wallet. and i just gave him a t-shirt. :S sorry sy. i don't have idea what to give. i love you so much..

i miss 2nd of may so much. seriously i miss. that was one of the happiest moment in my life though i was feeling guilty arah mumy :S

i love you so much sy. having you by my side makes me feel comfort and save.

p/s: i love you and i always do.

xoxo

regards,

zaii

2009-04-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

I've been missing my friends this lately.. my old friends.. i miss you guys so much. and i miss school too. sigh. yesterday morning me and Juden had this feeling like going to school masa we come across sekolah rendah kiarong kah.. emm not sure around kiarong lah.. then we were like.."lain ah skulah ah.. whiteboard apa ah.." mcm we have the feeling kan sekulah again. i miss my old life. school, tunggu allowance, belajar and doing the craziest things with my friends

i just can't except the fact that i'm working and i have to tanggung my own life. sigh. i miss being a children. i can feel the burden sudah. not that really a burden. hehe. i really miss school so much. if i tell this to mum i swear i'm going to die. hehe.

sigh. wish i can turn back the time and will not do the same stupid mistakes. (8)cuz i made a stupid mistakes:D. sigh what for aku regret. i chose this. so i have to go with the flow. kan?kan?kan?

i feel like crying right now. sigh. not that i'm drama queening but its just real. i can't avoid the feeling that i am regret.

bh enough about this.

its like two or three more weeks lagi my 6th anniversary

and i haven't plan anything yet.. dinner?where? still inda tau.
what to wear? still clueless. the present?apa lagi..still inda tau... pfft.

but its okay as long as i'm with you. though we've planned to celebrate it belated:S

i love you sy.

mmwah

regards,
zaii

new hair :D

2009-04-10T08:27:00.000-07:00

hi there, :D i just got my hair done. sigh. anyways i two of my collegue resigned lagi :( sad. fiqah i miss you already.. awh.. :( oh anyways si bf kraja udah :D:D and our anniversary is around the corner. and ya put sudah cut his hair.

also not to forget, al-fatihah to late nini tua.

regards,

zaii

update

2009-03-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

its been a while i didn't update my blog. well end of month biasa.. very-very busy. hmm.. esuk we're going to angel beach yay!!! ada baiduri function. hopefully can erase all the stress that keep on messing with me.. hehe. apakan.. tapi serious bah if i think about my end month report my adrenaline pumping mcm hell... haha...

zizie time busy ane, selalu aku ingatkan kau. haha. you, me, chq and sal, 157, suspense, 154, branch, 214, sv, 143!!! and also your fav part menjahit!! :D haha. if only u know ppl. apakan aku buat ane. mcm babi. i miss the time we're having time together di empire. the ocean view, east atrium room8224, the kayangan ball room, mask, base, the glowing stick, swimming di jacuzzi kononnya.. haha.. and also my friends yg super2 gila... hypnotic mcm monkey...screaming your lungs out, act like there's no 2mrw, phycotic, the samchong, oh i miss the food too... i enjoy it. seriously i did. haha and also i can still remember the time muka ku pink because of the mask.. jubur.. pink mcm pikachu, babi. and i have to remove all my make up and do it once again. and aku hardly can't find my make up. rupanya arah durang yen.. sheesssss... haha and also the pop mie... oh i'm having so much fun that day, until i forget that zizie will leave us.. :S

oh anyways, i got my haircut. short ah rambut ku. consider short lah. short kah sy?? idk eh..

can't wait til 2mrw. the bouncer, the food, the beach, the wave, swimming, oh i love it.

i wanna upload the picture bahh.. tapinya.. i'm to cool to upload haha. nada wah... lame.

oh anyways,
Sam.. if you read this
i just want to tell you.
be strong bah..
and don't put too much hope,
if aku say directly to you.
plug mu atu balum pasang wah..
yth... labut!! haha...
be happy man!!!!!!

bh.. i'm off to bed. atleast aku update. :D

picture uploaded

2009-02-21T21:21:00.000-08:00

i miss you zizie. office will never be the same without you :(

saya stress..

with love,

zaii

FINALLY!!

2009-02-14T02:34:00.000-08:00

finally aku update.. hehe..aku inda update the happiest moment in my life.. like Baiduri masquerade ball party. i tell u it was awesome. apa lagi ah.. Empire, Kaybee, and i'm tellin' you guys i love my job sudah. i think. hehe... and ada sad part. because one of my collegue that i really love the most, zizie had resigned. i miss you zizie. nanti tah i upload ah the picture... emm guys.. readers.. to the couples.

HAPPY VALENTINES

DAY!!!

and to dean and nesa

happy 5th anv.

mwahugs.zaii

2008-11-15T17:16:00.000-08:00

hi people people!!!:D

its been two weeks i haven't update my blog. i've been busy with working all the time. sigh. but i'm in love with my job hehe:D. aah.. finally i can rest this weekend:D.

anyways,

happy birthday 20th birthday to alai ashraf:D

and my boyfriend's parents are going to perfom the haj today. but i didn't have a chance to send them to the airport. sad.sad.sad

it touched my heart last night when his mother hug me. and told me to look after juden.

haha. sayang the power is in my hand now:D

anyways i'm so gonna confess about my job. at first week it was a complete tiring and i got a fever. but after while its fun:D except for the tiredness! and now i know how my parents and the others feel of working hard to search for money.

monday to friday. almost everyday i have to take overtime because there's load i mean LOAD of works to do.

thats all people:D

interview.interview.interview

2008-10-31T17:16:00.000-07:00

hi there, its been awhile since i've blogging i just don't have much time to surf the net. sigh sigh sigh.

owh anyhoos, i just had my written test on baiduri bank last wednesday and at 5pm they called me for an interview on friday and then they called me again for the second interview again on the next day. and i'm in dilemma right now. banar people. before the inteview DST called me and ask me to come for the interview. and i am totally confuse which job will i choose. well i just depend it on mumy.i just let her choose. maybe.*deep sigh.

yesteday, my boyfriend brought me to pantai jerudong to watch sunset. teehee. it was so relaxed that i can forget everything that keep on messing up with my mind. oh god help me. :S

at night we had a dinner at liyana in batu besurat with his family because his family want to celebrate his belated birthday. and i am super full. after that we have no idea where to go so we went pusing gadong manatau our friends ada sana. =.='' actually my boyfriend wants to go to the mall but then its raining and my badan sudah itchy cause kana ujan masa di batu besurat. sigh. sorry sy.

then went to komunis. my boyfriend bought a secondhand serenade cd then went to qlap bought pearl milk tea from easy way. :D

then went home so early because i have interview today at 10am. sigh. well all i can say is i'm nervous :S

my boyfriend went home around 1am hehe:D

i'm out now i have to get ready for interview. wish me luck:D

with love,
zaii

the birthday

2008-10-23T16:29:00.000-07:00

ah finally dapat update:D though its belated. teehee.

on the 20th October i would like to greet happy 21st birthday to my love and happy 18th birthday to alai mizzan. sorry because lambat update. hee.

letme recall what happened on monday. me and the boyfriend had a dinner at Aminah Arif since he was craving for his all time favourite menu Ambuyat.

after that we made a surprise birthday cake for sayang and alai mizzan and FYI it was last minute plan. and i didn't know what to do because at that time i was out of prepaid and thats makin' me worried. banar.. its a seriousshit :D

after dinner we went to his home then i forced my boyfriend to go to my grandparents home since we got nothing to do at his home. sudah sampai bibie lagi nada. then about half an hour she came. then~~~

this is the cake hehe. last minute plan cake. bibie bought this cake from le apple and its super yummy. thanx bibie for the cake.

bibie, alai, sayang, adib

bibie, alai, sayang and me

though we didn't celebrate the birthday ramai2 but still its fun. we did play the cake fight and the amah pun kana. haha.

sayang,

happy 21st birthday to you

may Allah bless you with longevity

i love you so much

sorry didn't have present for you but for sure i'll give you soon okay.

i love you sayang.

Alai mijjan,

happ 18th birthday

semoga panjang umur di murah kan rejeqi ya mas:D

bh man go and buy you cigar its LEGAL now.

ilabyouh man!

bh people thats all.

with love,

zaii

2008-10-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

hi people,,

i don't feel like talking about my day today. but overall it was tiring again. because had makan2 lagi at my grandparents homey. but unfortunately i'm super full sudah so i just eat something light.

i don't know what has gotten into me. i feel like something has missing in my life.*deep sigh
thanks to the boyfriend who always be there for me. i love you for making me feel better.*hugs

owh anyways his birthday is coming up soon on the 20th and i'm still thinking what to do on his birthday. well ada plg. just want to keep it hush-hush dulu. and inda tau jadi or not hehe.

baby~~ you're getting older. hehe. but no matter what i will always love you. :D

i miss you love. hee. though we've just met.

i love you you and you

with love,
zaii

2008-10-17T21:37:00.000-07:00

hi people..

yesterday was a complete tiring. at 3pm i went to baiduri bank in kiarong branch to send my letter of application. then went home. i got a headache that i can't help it. maybe pasal aku hungry kali :D then went to babu's crib kan ambil hp yayai. because yayai cannot live with her hp because her hp is her soul or probably her life. hehe.

then i ate home made chicken rice. hehe. paning ilang sikit. teehee. =.='' then went home. at 6pm get ready and went to the boyfriend's crib then went to ripin's house. after that went to abg ami's house because my cousin named suzree kana risik. i'm happy for you cousin. teehee.

then went to ibu lagi. and my stomach mcm kan explode udah makan bnyk hehe.

went backk home around 12 hehe. atleast i'm not going anywhere inda betantu :D

udah di rumah;
-insomnia strikes
-bored strikes

sigh.

with love,
zaii

2008-10-14T07:41:00.001-07:00

al-fatihah to aunt faridah(ben) who just passed away this afternoon.

around 7pm i just got back home from auntie edah's place.

i don't really have a mood to blog right now. i'm exhausted.

i don't really have a mood right now since i'm in this situation that i don't reallyy wanna talk about it.

heard lots and lots of badnews in these few days. sigh.

i have no idea what to write on.:D

with love,
zaii

raya celebration:D

2008-10-08T09:51:00.000-07:00

its been a while since i've blogging:D been really tired with raya celebration. well it didn't went so good. but for sure its a blast. lets just summarise my raya celebration story :D

first day;
went to babahlong's grave then for sure went to lambak at my grandparent's homey. i can say there's loads of food to eat. then went to auntie edah's place at jerudong where i have a chance to eat the cup cakes from kitchen of jasmine. then went to nini tua at rimba kembar. then went home. at night the boyfriend came and went beraya di lambak then went to qilah's homey at rimba kembar again.

second day;
let me recall.first went to nini uda's place di somewhere-i-can't-remember-the-place. dakat manggis kali. i eat a lot bah. then went to nini joyah's place(the boyfriend's grandmother) at lambak kanan then went home to lambak. at night me and bibi went to the boyfriend's place where the mother cooked the home made mee laksa it was super-delicious-that-i-don't-want-to-stop-eating-it but my stomach udah full with foods and drinks. then ripin(the boyfriend's friend) came. after that we went to i-don't-know-who di mentiri kawan a friend of mine

third day;
went to ibu's place at serusop. the food i can say it was awesome. i mean it was totally awesome. then went to abang chai's place at seri lambak. lagi tia. super delicious but aku full udah so i eat light food saja. di sana ada sushi from excapade, kebab, mini burger from ideal, cup cakes from kitchen of jasmine, and not to forget nini dayang's punya makanan well known as my nini. hehe.then went to uncle taib's place di lambk then went to jerudong to anti abam's place but then nada urg and FYI it was raining and guruh and temparik i was so scared. on the third day of raya the boyfriend went to kaybee. sad:S because aku mau ikut. then at night he pick me up and went to ripin and the girlfriend open house.

fourth day;
mumy went to kaybee and the boyfriend went to tutong. i was all alone at home until 8pm the boyfriend came and pick me up went to bungsu's place(the boyfriend's friend) then went to wafi's place again nada urangnya then went to mall to have a dinner because i haven't eat anything yet. then played cs haha. so much of raya-ing.

fifth day;
didn't go anywhere.

sixth day;
first went to kampong ayer to baji's place, then rumah jirul then din's then fadil's place then midah's place.

seventh;
mariatul place saja haha.

bh thats all for now.

with love,
zaii

hari raya

2008-10-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

selamat hari raya to muslimin muslimat.

deep sigh. selamat hari raya to all. once again raya with incomplete family :S

al-fatihah to babahlong.

al-fatihah to tua bagol

al fatihah to nini babu

al fatihah to nini hussein(the boyfriend's late grandfather/my cousin)

al-fatihah to nini moyang

al-fatihah to muslimin.

semoga roh mereka di cucuri rahmat.

hari raya. i'm so going to miss my boyfriend so much. i guess we don't meet in these few days. sad. sad. sad. :S

to my friends selamat hari raya. sorry if did something wrong.

and bibi. sorry for all my wrongdoing.

bah people again selamat hari raya.

with love,
zaii

2008-09-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

i didn't blog yesterday because i was so damn exhausted. i spent a day with the boyfriend from 12midnight of 29th sept to 1am of 30th sept. hehe. xcept for pagi til pm saja. thanx sy. i love you. i wake up so early i mean ot that really early i woke up around 11.30am and i slept at 6.30am 5 hours sleep. sigh.

at 3pm we as in me and the boyfriend went jalan-jalan. hehe. we break our fast at kaka restaurant. mumy brought us there. i didn't get any present from mumy on my birthday. the boyfriend gave me rose and a mug. i haven't took a picture of the mug yet. it look so cute. hehe. i don't have mood to blog today. anyways i'm at the boyfriend crib right now. teehee.

happy birthday to the boyfriend's sister asheey.

hehe. i was trying to hide my right eye arah photo of me and the boyfriend but still nampak.

with love,
zaii

birthday girl

2008-09-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

hi people. its 29th of september. and happy birthday to me :D i'm 19 now. i'm getting old. :S

right at 12midnight tadi the boyfriend and friends gave me surprise. i mean they gave me cake. and i am so SURPRISED. haha thanks boo and friend. we celebrated my birthday at the boyfriend's crib.

tada.. this is my birthday cake. i was craving for this cake the first time we went to lof but mumy didn't want to buy it for me because she said that aku puas udah celebrate evrsince i was a kid.

thanks friends for collecting money for this cake. i lobyouh guys.

owh and by the way thanks to dean and nesa for giving the chocolate and a bottle of mentos.
hehe. i love you.

not to forget to those who greet me thank you so much guys. thank you. thank you.

awh also to jirul~~ thanks for the watch. teehee.

fadil, c'mon lets have some fun. what past is past. don't think about it. you have us.

ok i'll blog again tomorrow.

sayang,

thanks for everything.

sorry for making you whine

thinking how to make surprises for me.

this surprised is more than enough for me.

sorry again to trouble you.

with love,
zaii

2008-09-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

i'm so in dilemma right now. frustrated that is.

people keep on judging me and telling fake stories to other. you-know-who-you-are. do you get present for it. i want one too. i wanna get present by telling people all the fake stories. c'mon people give them a round of applause. i'm sure i am going to pay your debt. no worries.and you after 7years of friendship. still you keep on hurting me. all i do is sabar. i'm sure i'm going to explode like a pearl habour.

my day? i woke up and i can hardly open my eyes. i mean my right eye. then straightly i looked into the mirror and my eye was all red until now. i feel like crying bah. sakit plus padih. sigh then the boyfriend came and pick me up at 3.30pm and we're going to gadong because sam wanted to go the saloon to get a haircut.mohawk that is. hehe. and we've been searching anywhere for the saloon and its all fully booked. until we went sebarang mall till ada this abandoned saloon what do we called that. let me think. hmm. idk. hehe. teehee. then we went rush home because we want to break our fast at pantai serasa so we can see i mean so i can watch sunset. sadly kami inda sampat because kami bali food udah like almost 6. sad.sad.sad. apakan. bengang. i was acting like there's no sunset lagi. hehe. i mean its been a while i didn't watch sunset we went to pantai but at night saja all i see i moon. :P

then at pantai serasa we played bunga api. it was siuk. alai ashraf, if you were there tadi i can't imagine how siuk tadi and ngam lagi if you and alai betamu. i'm sure we're gonna laugh. haha. :D

oh anyways one of my friend fadul, had an accident last night, motor and car accident and the friend of mine is riding the motor. the motor was deadly ancur. but thank god he's fine. just a scratch on his back and his neck keselahau. funny when i heard the story everyone get panicked like c alai ashrap said padul accident gila trok motornya masuk bwah kereta. and ko jua sam. you make me went so panicked. all i thought was a really bad accident i mean not just me but all of us. my mind keep on thinking all the negative stuff. sheesh~~ sekali he was fine. sam and alai you should've tell us a complete story. so we don't get panic.

good night people

with love,
zaii

2008-09-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

god help me with this sleepless night.

i can't stand anymore with the insomnia that i've been suffering for all this while.

man, i just browsing through internet or lets just say i'm googling just now. and i found out that i'm suffering from insomnia, the other meaning from insomnia is can't-remember-shit. naaahh.. its just that i can't sleep all night and that makes me depressed. i need rest seriously i do :S

again my day was started so lame. my hp rosak like i can't see anything on the screen. pfft. and i can't sleep all night and i sleep at the couch on the tv room. when i get up at 8am mumy was like keep on marah-ing me cause i sleep dbwh. i can't sleep in my room it makes me whine though i force my self to close my eyes i still end up sleeping subuh. and sometimes it makes me wna scream my lungs out of it. hfft. *deep sigh

plus i went so mental today because when i went to the tailor's shop not far from my house because i want to take my baju raya sekali when i came there she haven't done it yet alum bejahit i was like shocked that baju i am going to wear on my first day of raya sekali i said can you make it before raya then she agreed relief la sikit then i was going to pay the deposit the total price was $65 then i wanted to give her deposit about $35 she said that the total price was $95 again i shocked. mental ku mental. inda ku jadi putung baju sana. baee bah~~~

where on earth i'm going to search for the tailor's shop yg sanggup lagi putung. i feel like screaming right now. :S

bh people thats all

whine

2008-09-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

*deep sigh

i just got back from from the boyfriend's crib. its like 1am udah. and oh my he's going to school tomorrow. but hey, i have a new friend and she's from pte too and i've never seen her before well she's my junior but you-know-me i don't treat my junior as my-junior get me? we all are the same and we all are schoolmates. teehee. oh forget to say her name is izah. she's a nice girl. well, the boyfriend's mumy ask me to layan her but i was like oh-i'm-so-shy. haha. but the boyfriend keep on forcing me. at last we talked but hey nice to know you and nice to talk with you. i have a great time with you girll

oh my day started so lame =.='' i woke at 11.30 because the boyfriend texted me that he have an extraclass about web design. i was like okay i'll get enough sleep since ya dtg ahir :D but~~ at 12am he texted me again and ask me to get ready because he's going to pick me up because the father ask him to send atoz to the workshop i was like o.O''. awh.. man do you know what it means. it means that i didn't have enough sleep and i whine. sheeshh~~ that when he arrived saya belum siap. and he was like lakas tah c din tunggu udah. and here it goes i whine again. we rushed to his crib and i don't find c din there. again!!! i whine!!! waiting for alai lagi i whine!! then we went to the workshop after that we don't have any idea to go where to kill our time so we plan to go to alai mizan's place at kiarong and FYI the day was so DAMN HOT!! and man, otw to kiarong it was jammed. and the boyfriend's car temperature was so hot and we don't feel the aircond ba~~ then kami abis bank we went to hospital kan rehat kan kereta there!! haha. we sat arah out patient and i was like sleepy. then at 3 baru kami balik then send them home.

the boyfriend had his sungkai at my crib. after sungkai here it goes again i whine and i don't know why on earth that i whine. i feel like stressed out and everything that the boyfriend did i'll get angry. sorry love.

okay okay lets just put it this way; i whine all day. teehee.

god, please help me to sleep earlier. i need some rest!!i had enough of waking up late. i sound like shit. haha.

bah bah people i'm off.

with love,
zaii

random

2008-09-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

just finished watching the match between manchester and chelsea. they draw!!! sheeshh~~ but nevermind. hehe. think positive!! i guess manchester is getting bored because the hold the trophy 2years straight heheh. so they give chance to other team to have it!! thats what my opinion with the boyfriend :D

i woke up at 230pm today. sheeshh.. i slept at 5am man. idk what happened to my eyes. i don't feel like sleeping at night. this is a seriousshit. i'm afraid during raya i didn't get much sleep. i'm trying real hard to sleep earlier though i went upstairs at 12 but still i end up sleeping at 4-ish all night in bed? what do you think? and everyday i woke up in the afternoon and i endup getting headache. gawd!!

back, the boyfriend came over to my house at 430pm because he got lots of things to do at home. as usual hari raya is coming and of course he'll do this and that. every year he must complained at me because his work is so tiring. tadi pun he end up so weak and exhausted.

we stayed at home all night. we played bunga api. anyways idk why i hated badil so much it sounds like an earthquake i guess. i'm so scared with the sounds it makes me scream and makes my heart beating so fast. anyways i hate some badil saja like badil macis, colour flower and what do we called that air bomb. fuck it makes my heart go sheesh. you know what i'm saying.

talking about badil, last night at pantai jerudong alai mizan pasang this badil macis and throw it arah batu2 can you imagine how was the sound? i was like screaming my lungs out of it. man, seriously i feel like crying i hate badil so much ever since i was a kid, i still can remember everyone was so excited to play the badil and i ran upstairs and get a blanket to cover me to avoid of hearing that loud sound and i sweat like a pig. haha. seriously.

even the bunga api that we used to have during july. i love to see it but i hate to hear it.

stop talking about the bunga api and badil.

and now i'm sitting here all alone not that alone =.='' i'm with my brother. he didn't talk that much like me. i'm talkative and all i do is talk. hah. boboy seriously love football so much. it runs in a blood my father loves football too. and the way he knows everything about football even a piece of it ask him.he'll answer it. man!! he's a football freak!! and tadi he was so happy when the chelsea scored. boy your sister loves manchester so stop making fun of it. =.=''

i'll upload his photo soon. he looks much like my father.

bye people.
muahs.

with love,
zaii

2008-09-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

hi everyone :D

amat's home today :D i mean it was totally surprised.

i started my day waking up at 2.30pm today. gawd idk why has gotten into me i can't sleep earlier these past few days or should i say these past few weeks o.O'' haha. i have to rush because the boyfriend is going to pick me up. i didn't even see my mumy today :S at three he picked me up and went straight to his home. you see i only took 30mins to get ready. gahh!! like what 15mins for shower and 15mins to get myself done.

after that i just stayed at his home til sungkai then we as in amat, alai, sam, din, fadil, alai mizzan, me and the boyriend went to gadong to fetch qilah. since we've been missing gadong so much. haha. so we hang out there for a while. and for sure i've seen different type of people. man, gadong was so crowded tadi.

then we went to McD because amat want to buy mcFlurry after that went to pantai jerudong and now i'm home. i was bored plg sigh. but ATLEAST we have something to do. rather than doing nothing.

anyways i have a great time with the boyfriend today we talked about stuff today lets just keep it hush here i don't want to mention it here. hehe. na~~ its just about our life i mean our childhood life. i wonder why everytime if i go with him i mean just two of us. we always talk about our childhood time and sometimes i find it hilarious. hehe. and we was like in two different world and now we're in love. hehe.

bah bah thats all.
good night people.

with love,
zaii

2008-09-18T11:12:00.001-07:00

happy birthday to Nesa(dean's gf) god bless you with longevity :D

my day? lets make it short and simple here. BORED!!! we stayed all night at home. because we didn't have any idea to go where and we're totally broke :S
this evening we went to kubur babahlong(my uncle) then we went to stadium to buy some food for our sungkai.

then then then we stayed at home and i'm all bored. sigh. the boyfriend went back home around 1am but before that we went to kadai runcit to buy cigar. hehs. then his cousin called to treat us at kianggeh but then its too late udah. sheesshh.. why didn't he call us earlier tadi so we have something to do.

bh bh people thats all.

with love,
zaii

2008-09-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

okay. i upload some old photos that i kept since last year.

i love this one because we're in green:D

i miss this friends. i mean this hapiness where did it go? accept one of the guy sj i don't miss. my friend you-know-him
awhhhh~~ we're the perfect couple there. teehee =.=''
randomness

i miss this hapiness where does it go? it's all gone. this pictures was taken at empire beach. actually we didn't really have a plan to wear the same colour of t's since some of us like me and the boyfriend adib and alai. others i forced them to wear it haha.

awh i miss it so much. except you-know-who(to my friends only) they knew it so much. hehs.

my day? uh lame. my sister knocking on my door so hard. i said "aahh.." i didn't hear it actually what on earth she's talking about because all i think was sleep. i need to sleep man. i sleep at 5-ish in the morning. kali she txt me because she knew it thats the only way that can wake me up. she text me 'ka, boboy sakit dada' i was lke rushing to go down stairs and i see boboy crying udah. fuh...

i meet my boyfriend at 9pm because he got things to do. sigh. then we as in din, sam, alai, fadil, me and the boyfriend went to huaho bunut.. by the time we arrived the shop has closed. haha. then we went to bandar just hang out there. to find some fresh air. hehe. then they went lepak to my house because brunei is so small and we don't have any idea to go where since its late already. but i was lucky to be bruneian. an i thank god because i was born in brunei since brunei is a peace country. i love brunei:D

they went home at 2am. hehe.

ok people bye.

with love,

zaii

2008-09-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

today? this and that. pfft. just got back home from pantai jerudong. as i told yaa... i'm addicted to pantai seriously addicted. but today i didn't bring them. drng yang bawa :D thanx guys. ilobyouh!! O.O.

actually i'm trying real hard to forget all this "thing" that keep on messing with my mind. i really tried. but then it always pop into my brain and start thinking til it ruins my mood.

owh yes. i read some of the blogs which marked as my favourite blogs. teehee.. there are some uninvited person who tagged them in a bad way in their blog. well people you shouldn't do that. this is our blog, respect us for who we are. we bloggers didn't want this to happen. i experienced it once too. but i deleted it already. we need your respects. hmm. though i'm new in this kind of thing. and i realise that some of my post like you know using false words and maybe some part of my post can make others feels angry. but hey its just a blog. i didn't mean to do that its just my emotional. some of the bloggers know right. and about my other last post, i've posted that picture. i know i shouldn't do that IF only she didn't start it first :D to the spam-ers don't do that. its mean. like seriously mean.

back to the story; hmm i didn't go anywhere today just stayed at home all day. i'm trying to be a goodgirl here guys. haha. =.='' except at night. because we all bored. mcm i'm getting bored udah main cs. haha. i don't really have "the skill" lagi. hehs.

anyhoos, school holiday has started already. i don't feel the aura of the holiday anymore. aku sudah puas cuti :D
i miss school ba~~ :S if aku karas hati kan masuk technical it wouldn't be like this. my aim is going to the technical but mumy didn't agree afraid that i'm struggling there. and honestly speaking i'm more struggling in pte. *white flag. but i'm trying my best to go to the uni. i don't want to waste 2years of time just like that. AMIN.

owh man i get too emotional today. T_T. haha.

bah thats all for today.

with love,
zaii

beach :D

2008-09-16T12:22:00.000-07:00

my day? was fine~~ i woke up at 11.50 and i read my text message it was from my boyfriend. he texted me that he'll come late. o.O" so not a good news. i showered at four in the morning. all night i tought that ok if sayang come i'm all done and i don't have to rush everything. and now. na~ah~ and that makes me upset. but after all i think hmm.. ok he's studying how can i be so stupid. i get angry and i didn't think about him. sigh. sorry love. again i made a stupid mistakes. cobaan again. hfft. tsk tsk.

and my boyfriend trying to pujuk me and bring me to pantai. hmm :D how can i be that weak. i'm not a super girl na~ah. awal2 jual mahal. haha. then we went to pantai at four and went back 5.50pm its a serious shitt we went back home in rush afraid that we'll be late for sungkai. but since mumy and my siblings reak their fast at Ayamku then i decide to break my fast at my boyfriend's crib. just both of us and his brother too.

at night we played CS as usual. hmm. then went back home and now i'm doing nothing i'm exhausted because i just finished cleaning up the tv room and the kitchen too. =.=''

awh by the way 12 more days :D man i get too old this time i'm 19 years old :S

ok thats all people. itss time to sleep its 3.40am right now. :D

bye.
with love,
zaii

exhausted

2008-09-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

nothing much i want to say. hmm as usual!!! i woke up at 12pm i hardly can hear my boyfriend calling me: the sign of he's arrived udah. hehe. sorry love. o.O'' hehe. yayai too, she knock my door so hard and i pretend that i didn't hear it because i feel so sleepy and i got a headache. so you know how it feels when someone knocking on your door and keep on knocking and knocking. i feel like screaming until yayai said "kaka!! abang juden datang." gila i woke up selajur and told yayai to ask my boyfriend to come in and i take a bath laju2. haha ssshh.. :D

then when i went downstairs :( sayang tidur. sorry sy~~ umm then we went to soon lee since mumy went there because i need to begambar passport size for the application form. i'm exhausted plus the weather is so hot and i can't stand much longer *tergugat iman ku* hehe. but i tried to think positve all i think is dugaan time puasa ne. hehe :D

then i went to lambak to search for my leaving certificate and shit i've lost it. maybe its on sayang's folder kali. haha. man how can i be so clumsy.hehe.

after sungkai; mumy went so rajin today ya changed the living room punya position. note: i hate this part of hari raya. sibuk plus tiring but its fun though.hehe.
and we don't bake this year mumy malas bali oven o.O''
but before that me and mumy and matin too see through our photo in my pc's folder named my family. i can see that mumy is trying not to cry infront of us. i seriously know that mumy miss daddy so much. and i pretty much know that mumy still cannot accept the fact that he's leaving us in a bad way. all i can do is sigh. actually me too i cannot accept the fact that he's leaving us with nothing. i admit that i miss him but after all he did was hurting me and the others so bad that makes me hate you somtimes. sigh. anyways i love you babah. though sometimes i hate you i still can't erase you in my heart.

after that we went jalan tosearch for my jeans ada size but i don't really like it. sigh.
i end my self here people:D

goodnight

with love,
zaii

12.14am

2008-09-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

its 12.14am in the morning. i'm counting days. two more weeks. two more weeks to go for my birthday haha. hmm i don't do much thing today :D i woke up at 2PM haha. because i sleep at 5am. sigh. i can't sleep all night. i whine.

back to the story, i woke up the mandi then turun bwah buat popia:D for hari raya. semangat. i'm exhausted. i don't know what i did i do today and now i end up tiring. sigh.

my boyfriend as usual break his fast at my home since his parents went to Miri. at night as usual we played CS with my brother and the others and my boyfriend too.

umm. actually i don't feel like blogging right now. sigh.

ok people bye.

with love,
zaii

2008-09-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

hi~~

i just got back from home from pantai jerudong with my boyfriend and friends. our purpose to go there is for relaxing since they are tired pasal usai cucul kami. thanx friends especially sam and fadil hehe.

anyways before sungkai we went to pantai also since we've got nothing better to do hehe :D me and my boyfriend and alai had our sungkai dinner at KTM jerudong with my boyfriend's family.
opinion for the food: super delicious and its worth. hehe.

then we kumpul at my home kan usai cucul hehe.

i feel like relaxing today and i forget everything that had happend to me this lately. sighs.
thanks baby. i love you so much.

and as usual :D i'm all alone in the tv room. waiting for sahur. hehe. i'm totally bored right now. sigh.

anyways mumy get me an application form for kristal astro because i feel like working and because i need money desperately hehe. nadadeh. to fill my time saja.

i don't have mood to write anyways. sigh.

goodnight people.

with love,
zaii

:S

2008-09-11T10:53:00.000-07:00

as usual to kill our time before sungkai me and my boyfriend went to his crib then we had our sungkai at our home since my sister, yayai tell me that mumy masak nyaman. i can't help it anymore. hehe. and at night as usual went shopping again with mumy tapi bali cucul and yoghurt

sigh. and as usual TOO i heard some bad news again. what do you want from me again after accusing me with all that bullshit stuff. okay maybe i said something bad behind YOU because i can stand with you and all i said are true none of it was fake and bullshit. let me highlight it again NONE OF IT. and FYI i never mark you as a bad person in my life. until then this person came and..... it became worst. you and i was like strangers that never know each other.

and i don't know until when this problem is going to end. and i don't know why this problem is getting worst. i don't know what had happened to you.

owh you!! i mean the other you. stop talking bad about my sister when you don't know anything about her. ahh they still can fucking remember the day us had big2 quarell with the one yg we hate. siapa yang being aggresive. and now.. your defending on him and telling someone that you don't even know. ugh i hate you so much man.

this problem is concentrated to me TO ME. eversince the tragedy had happened.. and you the guy don't be SETAHU when you don't even know what is the problem. okayyy!!!!

i end up my self mentally here

with love,
zaii

Finally

2008-09-10T00:18:00.001-07:00

finally, i've changed my layout :D i like it though its simple. i love it. hehe.
and finally too me and my boyfriend played Counterstrike today duh~~ seriously i'm addicted to it. shooting and killing and knifing and boming :D *kirai

owh anyways my family and i and my boyfriend too had our sungkai dinner at my granny's homey :) thanx mamawa for the great food you cooked. i love it. however my granny wasn't there because they have to go to our cousins home. *spoiled.

i spend all day at my boyfriend's crib just to kill our time before sungkai. -- supaya inda kelaparan ;) i don't know what happened to my tummy it can't stop growling today damn it. well its a "cobaan" pulang. o.O

And i can't stop hearing badnews saja. i can't stand much longer anymore.
sigh.. why i can't be happy just for a moment. :S

owh anyhoos to my friend, qeel. happy birthday to you. wish you all the best. i love you girll.

i end my self with a smile here. :)

with love,
zaii

quality time.

2008-09-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

i've been happy this lately :D not that really happy. Maybe because i really had a great quality time with mumy. since its been a while udah i haven't done it. sigh. and its like a release.hffftt...

we didn't go anywhere this evening. ada lah at night sj. we, mumy, adik2 and my boyfriend too went to lof to order some cakes for hari raya and bought some food. i bought bag jua for hari raya and its cheap it only cost about $11.90 well the original price $20.90 plg. i don't want that expensive branded bag. jara ku. i only use it once in a year. hehs.

I'm exhausted. pfft. i wanted to upload some pictures pulang but i'm too tired. i get all covered this ramadhan :D hah. sigh. its been a while i hear us laughing together. sigh.

i had a conversation with kidah this afternoon. i miss you girllll. ada i txt you tu k when tni sungkai together gether keh. love you babe. hugs.

with love,
zaii

2008-09-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

today i got nothing much to do just go jalan2 with mumy, adik2 and my boyfriend :D
and today mumy pinjam amah. and she's from vietnam. and i don't understand each of her words. haha. sian pulang. she said this o.o bunut.(sounds in nose) haha.it means huaho bunut. well i couldn't stand much longer pulang if payah kan communicate.. well she's fine and rajin too..

anyways i missed playing CS today :( because me and my boyfriend have to send the amah home at o.o bunut.:D sigh. apakan skadar. hehe.

anyways the questions is still on my head is why they have to do this to me.
i hate the way ya cover cerita god damn it.
i love it.*round of applause*

sigh. well, i don't really want to think about it seriously.
i got lots of thing to do.

i miss school anyways. its been a while since aku school. sigh

i got nothing better to do right now. i'm all alone in this tv room. semua sleep udah except fer me.
sigh.

anyways i've been surveying love poems in internet last night because as usual baby, i got nothing better to do haha. some part ada yg aku suka some na~ah~ hehe.

goodnight people :D

-much love to give, much pain to keep- :D

wth love,
zaii

2008-09-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

i end up bad in their eyes. i'm trying to help. avoiding you whining in shortage of money. but, well i end up like this. i don't understand why. "aku jua yang jahat atu"
pandai cover cerita ah.. *kirai.
i'm refering this to one person only.
the person that i believe in my life stab me from behind.
how could you do this to
how could you didn't appreciate me.

you told them i'm the one who force them.
its you whining arah ku. ITS YOU. how can i make it highlight lagi. ITS YOU,YOU,YOU!!

people, i learn my mistakes from this.
don't help anyone when you couldn't help for yourself.
i learn my lesson now.

i only have my family(siblings & mumy) and my boo in my life.
i need a mirror i guess :D
i end with a smirk here :D

with love,
zaii

ever experience :D

2008-09-07T08:11:00.000-07:00

hehe. today its the first time ever ever ever aku naik perahu tambang with mumy, adik2 and my boyfriend haha its cool and siuk.
hehe :D but hujan and it is still siuk. hehe.

and now i'm all alone :S

i just recieved an email from mumy about the date converter and i find this cool;

my boo's birthday--20/10/1987-26 Safar 1408
my birthday------- 29/09/1989-27 Safar 1410
our anniversary----01/05/2003-28 Safar 1424

besusun semua. love it :D

the different year nya sja..

its cool :D:D:D

i just can't believe it. haha. over. *kirai

i love you my baby boo
i always miss you
though we've met everyday.

with love,
zaii

2008-09-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

sigh its 3.39am right now

i can't sleep..

and right now i'm watching oasis. solat terawih di Mekah.

i want to go there. if only i have a chance :')

mumy told us about history of nabi and tafsir of Al-Quran and hikmat-hikmat ayat2 al-quran

*sayu hati ku. sigh.

my brain is pack with all mumy cakap.

i'm feelin' sad right now.

and i feel like crying.

with love,
zaii

did i miss something in my life?

2008-09-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

my topic of this blog sounds emo.
i'm whining right now.
i feel uncomfortable these few days. i don't know why and better don't ask me why.

i just got back home from gadong.

and today me and the family had our sungkai at my grandparent's home. :D

anyways my birthday is coming up soon. haha. batah plg lagi. i'm counting days udah.

i'm blank.

totally blank

and i don't know what to do.

i love you my boo. hugs*

with love,
zaii

happy birthday alai matin

2008-09-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

here i want to say happy 11th birthday to alai matin :D

wish you all the best and "sehat-sehat selalu" hehe.

i love you.

anyways i miss blogging yesterday duh~~

yesterday me and my boo had our sungkai dinner di mall

we don't have plan kan sungkai luar

since bibie txt me to buy my own food cause numy inda masak

i prefer sungkai luar. hehs :D

our new car vios sudah keluar today :D

congrats mumy :D

i miss my boo so much though i meet him like everyday.

but still i'm missing him like hell!!

baby you are the one for me

you gave me everything that i could never ask for more

i love you with all my life

i love you and i love you so much

hugs*

with love,

zaiii

You Rock My World

tuesday. friends with benefits.

friday, 4th november

wednesday.

sunday<3

saturday.

Friday!! TGIF <3

thursday. happy birthday to my love <3

wednesday!!!!

tuesday. 18.10.11 <3

monday blues.

bored. sunday. 11.10pm

sunday <3

my saturday <3

PRODUCTIVE SUNDAY=))

random

hiiiiiiii.....

defying gravity. I am.

F.U

...AND STILL..

my 7th anniversary ♥

not a productive day.

MY BOSSES ARE DICK*SMIRK*

i heart you. and i always do.

confession part II :D

the boredom strikes again.

random. again. bored. sigh.

when boredom strikes :P

fragile heart

part of the list =D

hip to the hop

Dream wedding and reality tv show addict

MY 1ST ANNIVERSARY

"THIS IS IT"

6 and a half years

IN LOVING MEMORY OF BABY RARA

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY TO MY <3

A LIL BIT OF LOVE

THE POSTPONED POST :P

i talk crap cause its bullshit

I REALIZE

i'm being random because i am a random person:D

i fucked up

its been awhile

first time ever experience

new hair :D

update

picture uploaded

FINALLY!!

interview.interview.interview

the birthday

raya celebration:D

hari raya

birthday girl

whine

random

beach :D

exhausted

12.14am

:S

Finally

quality time.

ever experience :D

did i miss something in my life?

happy birthday alai matin

MY BOSSES ARE DICKSMIRK