IT'S 5.41AM AND I HAVEN'T SLEEP YET. I DON'T KNOW WHY AND BETTER DON'T ASK ME WHY BECAUSE I AM CLUELESS RIGHT NOW. :D

TO BE HONEST DEEPLY IN MY HEART. I AM HAPPY WHERE I AM NOW AND I AM HAPPY THAT I FEEL VERY SAFE AND SECURE. I DON'T WANT ANYONE OR ANYTHING TO BOTHER US AT THE MOMENT.WE ARE LIVING OUR LIFE PEACEFULLY WITH NO ONE BOTHER US ANYMORE. THOUGH WE WERE LIKE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ISLAND WHERE NO ONE HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE IS IT. I MEAN WE HAVE NO RELATIVES TO DEPEND ON.

EVER SINCE THE TRAGEDY, YES I AGREE I FEEL LIKE A LONER IN THIS WORLD. BUT WHEN I THINK TWICE, WE DON'T DIE TOGETHER. THEY WON'T SAVE ME FROM EVERY SINS THAT I MADE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I AM VERY HAPPY WITH MUMMY, SIBLINGS, BF AND FRIENDS. THAT'S IT NO ONE ELSE. I DON'T WANT SOME OF THE PERSON GET BACK INTO MY LIFE THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN. PARANOID THAT IS.

I JUST WANT TO LIVE A LIFE WITH THEM NOT THE OTHERS. LIVING LIFE WITH THE OTHERS, ONLY LEFT WITH HATRED. THE SCARS WILL ALWAYS REMAIN DEEP DOWN IN MY SOUL WHICH NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND.

I WON'T SIMPLY FORGET WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE. THEY TRYING TO RUIN OUR LIFE. BUT WE STAND STILL BECAUSE I KNOW LOVE BRING US STAND TOGETHER AS ONE.

STUBBORN I AM. I DON'T DO FORGIVE AND FORGET TO THOSE WHO HURT ME AND MUMMY REALLY BAD. TO THOSE WHO HURT MY BOYFRIEND'S FEELINGS.

I CAN SEE IN HIS EYES THAT HE REALLY WANTED TO SAVE ME. BUT "YOU" CAME AND SAID THIS AND THAT TO HIM. AND HE FELT GUILTY AND LEFT OUT ALSO COULDN'T FORGET WHAT YOU'VE SAID TO HIM. FOR THE SECOND THOUGHT, WE ARE THE ONE WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED. NOT YOU.

SORRY I AM AN EVIL. I TRIED TO FORGIVE AND FORGET WHAT HAPPENS IN PAST BUT I CAN'T. IF SOMETHING REMIND ME OF YOU GUYS I'M MAD LIKE MY BRAIN ARE STUCK AND ALL I THINK IS I WANTED TO KILL YOU MY PIMP LITTLE COUSIN. SERIOUSLY. AND EVERY TIME WHEN I THINK OF IT, IT ALWAYS POPPED OUT ON MY MIND AND SAYS "HOW I WISH MURDERING IS LEGAL" AND HOW I WISH I HAVE A LICENSE TO KILL SOMEONE.

MUMMY FELT THE SAME WAY TOO. SHE REALLY FEELS LEFT OUT. WE TRY TO BE STRONG AND BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS, MUMMY IS SUFFERING AND TAKING TOO MANY SLEEPING PILLS AND I CAN'T FORGET HOW SHE SUFFERED AND CRYING ALL NIGHT LONG.

TWO OF THE REASONS WHY I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS TO BE IN MY LIFE ANYMORE. I KNOW REVENGE DOES SOLVE NOTHING. I WON'T TAKE ANY REVENGE. DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH. LETS JUST KARMA HANDLE IT.

I AM VERY HAPPY WHERE I AM NOW. I DON'T WANT THE SO CALLED HAPPY FAMILY ANYMORE. I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM. I SOUNDS REALLY MEAN. I KNOW.

BUT I STILL CANNOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THEY TEARING OUR HEART INTO PIECES. NOT TRYING TO BE AN ARROGANT. BUT LOOK AT US. WE CAN STAND TOGETHER WITH OUR TWO FEET ON THE GROUND WITHOUT THEM. AND I KNOW OUR LOVE WILL ALWAYS STAY.

I LOVE YOU MUMMY AND YOU SY

SORRY I CAN'T BE A GOOD GIRL ANYMORE. I HAD ENOUGH WITH EVERYTHING THAT I WENT THROUGH ALL THIS TIME. REALLY I AM SORRY.

LOVE,
ZAII